My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 34

Actively Cooperate With Treatment

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"Let him take a bite – there's no disease a vampire can't cure with one bite. If there is, then two bites will do the trick." The elf apostle wandered over unhurriedly and patted the human doctor on the shoulder in a serious manner.

Shang Haojia's eyes suddenly lit up, remembering his own relentless pursuit. With a thoughtful nod, he rolled up his sleeves and said to the vampire, "Come on, it's too obvious outside, let's bite somewhere else–"

"No need, no need. Thank you very much for your concern, Dear, but I'm really not hungry..." The vampire shivered violently and instantly shifted ten or so metres away, politely waving his hands in dismissal of his doctor's warm offer.

Doctor Shang was not surprised by the situation. He assumed the attitude of chasing after his patient to feed him medicine and followed a few steps after him with dedication, "But your heart is beating now, won't you feel discomfort?"

"It's not beating anymore, it stopped with that scare just now..." Patient Wei shook his head without hesitation, denying his illness. Because he was so nervous, his pupils that were originally night-like have been clouded with a faint blood colour.

Fearing that he might be lying, Shang Haojia pulled him over again and took his pulse for a few minutes. After confirming that there was no more heartbeat or pulse, he finally nodded reassuringly and lowered his arm, "Forget it for now, we can consider other treatments when we go back. You have to cooperate with the treatment, okay?"

"Yes, I will cooperate with the treatment." The vampire nodded without hesitation and agreed without saying a word.

On the other side of the room, An Muxi was dumbfounded by the rapid progress of these two. He pulled his best friend aside and patted him on the shoulder with a scowl, "Alright, it seems you two are actually in control – it seems I really misunderstood your family's vampire. Seeing the effort it takes to get him to drink some blood almost reminds me of when I was sent to the clinic with you guys and you almost had to sacrifice sex to a female succubus before she would take her medicine..."

"..." Never knowing he actually had such an extensive resume, Shang Haojia blinked in silence, glanced back at the enduring vampire, and finally decided to ask for clarification, "What succubus – I always thought the world was normal until I tried to give CPR to a vampire, so is it actually just me being too innocent?"

An Muxi, who had no concept of vampire hearing until now, took him by the shoulders with gusto, and lowered his voice in a fervent manner, "After all, we've always aimed to hide as much as we could from as many people as we could, so even if you had any dealings with a non-human race, you wouldn't necessarily find out. And that female succubus is Eli's grandmother, so what can I say – I have to give my brother some face, right?"

"... Besides, is a succubus considered a demon? The fact is that there is nothing they can do except seduce a human of the opposite sex. Look at our Chinese fox spirits, at least they can still grow a few tails –"

Before he could finish his sentence, there was suddenly a rather textured, magnetic voice from afar, "Why are you all here – Old Shang, I'm telling you, you'll never guess what I've been through!"

When they looked up, they saw Eli getting out of a taxi, waving vigorously and running over to them. His clothes and hair were still a bit dishevelled, probably because he had just been released from the Special Department, but he had a slight decadent beauty about him, which easily attracted the attention of a few girls on their morning jog.

Unfortunately, the walking hormone was apparently oblivious to this, and when he ran up to the two of them, he pulled them over one by one and mysteriously lowered his voice, "You won't believe this, but I'm actually a half-blooded succubus!"

The atmosphere suddenly fell into an awkward silence. The elf who had just bad-mouthed the succubus and the human doctor who had just heard the theory of the uselessness of the succubus looked at each other and silently averted their eyes together.

Looking at these two inexplicable guys, Eli sighed depressedly, his excitement at learning his identity instantly dissipating, "No, I mean are you actually – are you actually not even politely surprised or suspicious for a moment..."

"Oh my dear friend, for a standardised human, I have to admit you're pretty awesome." With a dull lecturing voice, Doctor Shang patted his housemate's shoulder insincerely before taking off his glasses and sticking them back on his face and shoving his wand back into his hand, "Are you here to find that group of students? You've forced them to hire me to stand in for you – I like the size of the guy with the chainsaw. When you go back, tell him more emergency room gossip, our department lacks someone that can carry patients into the elevator."

Easily diverted by Doctor Shang, who knew his tricks well, Eli smacked his head, touched the glasses on his face, and couldn't help but whisper another complaint, "Right, right, I would have forgotten if you didn't mention it – The Special Department is really... they have a signal blocker, I couldn't reach them at all..." 

"Be grateful that we don't have a filter membrane for the air. These days, ghosts are getting more and more up to date, there are even those who are gifted with the ability to convert themselves into radio waves and can travel all over the world via base stations and satellites – it's just that ordinary people can't see them. The last time our boss was on the phone with his wife, a ghost suddenly appeared from the phone. As a result, his wife insisted that he had a ghost outside and almost went to the netherworld to get a divorce." Sympathetically patting the clueless hybrid succubus, An Muxi also stopped hiding his identity and shook his head in a worried manner, "I can't help but say that the development of technology is one of the most screaming headaches for us – especially after all those formidable human scientists and researchers have joined the ghost world army. Their technological development is simply advancing by leaps and bounds, and I heard that the digitization of ghost bodies will be solved soon..."

"According to you, the technological development of the ghost world is definitely not inferior to that of the human world. After all, those predecessors in the scientific world have a lifetime of accumulated learning, more experience than anyone else, and an infinite time that no longer has an end..." Doctor Shang, who was drunk on science, seriously corrected him, and a few moments of yearning unconsciously showed in his eyes. 

Next to him, An Muxi was taken aback, hurriedly putting his hands on his shoulders and shaking him twice, "Sober up, my dear Chips – although what you say makes sense, your profession is completely useless when it comes to the ghost world!"

"What the hell, when did I say I was going to become a ghost too?" Impatiently peeling the hand away from his shoulder, Shang Haojia glanced at him with an angry expression before he stopped talking nonsense with them and walked back towards his vampire, "I was thinking that they probably worked out the digitization a long time ago – you should hurry back and install a firewall. Since Eli is here, he can explain to the students anyway, so we'll go home and get some sleep..."

"My dear, you really do possess a very keen mind and judgement."  The vampire, always graceful and patient, waited in the shadows. When he saw the human doctor approaching, he leaned down slightly with a smile and walked with him to the street, "In fact, as far as I know, through the advancement of the digitization of ghostly bodies, they have been able to possess mechanical objects controlled by computers – such as the most common robots, or smart air conditioners and smart washing machines. They are now said to be working on new technological challenges, and recently intend to tackle the switch from digitization back to materialisation, in an effort to successfully crawl out from inside TV sets as soon as possible."

"Why is it such a strange goal?" Imagining that scenario, Doctor Shang shivered subconsciously and shook his head in disbelief, but then he suddenly smiled lightly, and a soft warmth came into his eyes, "You know, the most painful thing about being a doctor is not being able to save a life that has been lost – even though my calling is to heal and save people, this life is destined to endlessly snatch people back from that ghost world. But if they can still exist in the world after they've passed away, and can still have a secure place to rest, then maybe one day they can even have a physical body that can be seen by the families they are attached to and miss, it really is the most comforting thing..."

"You're a hero, my dear doctor." A soft light flooded the vampire's eyes. Taking the human doctor into his arms in a sincere embrace, he responded with a smile and a warm voice, "Even though my existence is against humanity and science, I still hold you in high esteem. When you are facing your patients with all your heart, it is as if you are more noble and holy than those of the Holy Race ..."

"I would probably be even more holy if my patients were a little more cooperative with their treatment." Blushing a little at the other party's overly blunt praise, Shang Haojia interrupted him with a light cough. He took half a step back and patted the vampire patient's shoulder, "That's why it's important to stick to the treatment and not let the doctor down, you know?"

"Okay, okay – my doctor, I'm at your command." Wei Long laughed in disbelief and nodded helplessly, then leaned down slightly with one hand on his shoulder, "I still feel guilty, my dear. After all, because of me, you've gone through so much trouble..."

"It's not a big deal, healing the sick and saving – healing the sick, that's the job of a doctor, just think of me, just think of me as having professional obsessive compulsive disorder." Swallowing back the word 'saving', Doctor Shang replied with a straight face and pulled the vampire along to the side of the road, beckoning for a taxi, "It's dawn, let's go back the normal way, I don't want to wake up and suddenly find myself in the news for something..."

"Okay, I've never taken a taxi like this in the human world before." The vampire nodded with interest and thoughtfully opened the door for his doctor, waiting for him to get into the back seat, then pulled up his collar and got in himself.

There was talk of a comic con coming up, and a few cosplayers in strange costumes had just been picked up, so the driver didn't find the idea of a vampire in the back seat scary at all. After asking the two where they were going, he casually turned on the radio and hummed a little tune as he stepped on the gas.

"... According to reports, some residents witnessed spherical lightning strike an office, causing serious damage to the guardrails and glass windows. Fortunately, there were no casualties..." Upon hearing the morning news on the radio, Shang Haojia raised an eyebrow in understanding and exchanged a glance with the vampire beside him. However, before he could say anything, the radio changed to a male announcer and continued with the next news item, "According to Chengdong Zoo, sometime between last night and this morning, the mane of the only male lion in the zoo suddenly and mysteriously disappeared. Three cheetahs from the same zoo were thrown out by the lions for laughing too loudly. The lion and leopard park is currently closed for this emergency. The staff at the park said that the physical condition of the male lion does not appear to be abnormal. They will consider whether to hire professionals to evaluate and guide the psychological conditions of the lions and leopards in the park..."

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

The lion... Did Wei Long... 😂🤣

Feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and get better as I go through the book.

Translated: October 17/20/21, 2021

Edited: August 10, 2023