My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 33

CPR Only Saves Patients Whose Hearts Have Stopped Beating

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Under the full force of Doctor Shang's aura, the elf's drunkenness had almost dissipated. He sat up straight, his hands flattened on his lap, as if he was a carton of yoghurt within its shelf life.

After watching the two blood clan members leave the bar, An Muxi finally breathed a sigh of relief and tugged on his friend's wrist, "When did you become a wizard? Why didn't I know about it?"

"Those kids pulled me in to help them and I just borrowed their props." Glaring at his old friend in amusement, Shang Haojia twirled his wand in his hand and gave him two half-joking nods, "I'm telling you, I don't know any spells – If I were a wizard, I'd cast a silencing spell on you first and see if you can still get into trouble."

"It was an accident, they asked me if I knew this guy and I answered subconsciously – I'm not usually that unreliable, believe me..." Rubbing his head with a wry smile, An Muxi shook his arm playfully. He was about to admit his mistake again when he suddenly realised that his voice was fading away, and in the end he was only opening and closing his mouth in vain, but no sound could come out.

"..." Originally, he was suffering because he was singing out of tune, but now he had suddenly and inexplicably lost his voice. The ill-fated elf's eyes widened in agony as he stared incredulously at the so-called standardised human in front of him, not even bothering to find a pen and paper, he raised his hand and scribbled a line in gold in the air: [Didn't you say you couldn't do magic?!!!]

"All right, all right, no more exclamation marks, your bold and wild cursive speaks volumes about your mood." He was equally bewildered. While holding down the elf who wanted to pounce on and bite him, Shang Haojia inexplicably lowered his head and studied the wand in his hand suspiciously, "I really don't know what's going on – Could it be that a fully intelligent and automated wand has been developed now? Like the kind of smart appliances at home that can be controlled by your voice..."

As of now, based on what he knew about non-human society, the more Doctor Shang thought about it, the more this suspicion really made sense. Tucking the elf into the couch and giving his head two reassuring pats, he walked over to the group of students who couldn't stop looking over.

"Brother, you're not going to back out, are you? You promised us!" As they watched the two go whispering in the corner, the students couldn't help but feel a strong sense of nervousness, fearing that a rival cosplayer was planning to take advantage of the situation. As soon as they saw him return, the taller boy greeted him in stride, grabbing his arm and refusing to let go, "I'm telling you, Brother – you've got to help us. We've made a deal, it's up to you whether or not we'll pay the breach of contract fee..."

"Don't worry, I'll be there." Thanks to this group of students, he was able to get away with it. Shang Haojia nodded, smiled, patted his shoulder, and waved the wand in his hand curiously, "By the way, where did you buy this wand? That friend of mine also does cosplay and said that the quality of your props is very good..."

The gentle boy in charge of the group was stunned by his question, and after looking around the group, he shook his head in embarrassment, "We really don't know about this. It was brought by Li himself, and this set of props and costumes for the wizard are all his as well." 

The second time he heard this name mentioned by the group of kids, Doctor Shang raised his eyebrows keenly and suddenly had a premonition, "Let me ask one more question – that guy you are talking about, is he about my age, named Eli, and quite handsome?"

"That's right, do you know each other?" The boy nodded excitedly and hastily pulled him close, "He's our lab teacher who also doubles as the advisor for our club. Originally we all agreed to go out cosplaying together, but it turned out that he could not be reached since last night, and we were afraid that he was addicted to his experiments again and could not pull himself out..."

"The world really isn't that big – I'm his housemate. If you guys are his students, maybe you can have a chance to have me as your internship instructor." Not expecting to meet a group of students, Doctor Shang responded with emotion, but inexplicably felt more and more uneasy in his heart.

In the dragon attack accident, they were the only ones involved. The vampire side of the situation is still unclear, the husky friend is sleeping at home, and the youth should still be in the Special Department to receive anti-dog treatment. Then there is their situation, the low-ranking blood clan members are searching for him with his photo, and the whereabouts of Eli are suddenly unknown...

"I know, are you the legendary housemate who used our teacher's pot to boil bones?!" The students naturally did not know the thoughts that were going through his mind, and when they heard that he was actually housemates with their teacher, they showed some surprise in their eyes. The tall boy slapped his thighs and affectionately pulled him in, "Then you'd also be considered Uncle – Uncle, if you really take us in the future, you must take care of us more..."

"Do not worry, turn around and leave your names with me, I will definitely take care of you." Appreciatively looking at the boy's robust body, Doctor Shang, as if he had seen a strong labour force that could carry patients and move hospital beds, kindly patted his shoulder, "I will personally take you in as an intern when you come, you can shadow me on any of my surgeries."

"Thank you, Uncle!" The boy was flattered and nodded repeatedly as he didn't know what fate he would face in the future, and diligently moved a chair for him, "Please sit down, Uncle, aren't you working today? I heard that the ER can be busy..."

"I have a rare vacation, and I was forced to come here by that guy – I won't sit down for now. You guys go ahead and have fun, I'll leave a number for you and send him back first." Uncle Shang waved his hand majestically and casually left a string of numbers for them. Pulling up the sobbing elf ball on the couch, he waved towards the group and left the bar amidst a warm send-off from the students.

The sun always rises early in the summer, and even though he was in the bar for just a moment, the sky outside is already very bright.

Not paying attention to the yoghurt elf with a badly damaged heart, Shang Haojia took out his cell phone and walked back and forth twice, frowned as he pondered for a moment, then dialled Eli's cell phone.

Listening to the busy tone coming from the phone, the elf who finally regained his voice lay on his shoulder and explained in a listless manner, "Okay, don't call him – Eli was taken away by the Special Department for investigation because of his private possession of unlicensed dragon scales. Afterwards, there was testimony from the traffic bureau side that a golden dragon had been injured in his office, so there was no fine, but he still had to make a statement before being released."

Shang Haojia raised his eyebrows slightly, dragged the elf hanging on his body to the curb, and threw him on the bench, "How can you talk? Someone from your magic world does not need to release the spell?"

"It should be that some of Eli's magic has been stored in that wand, and that he himself does not know his bloodline, so it is never used. The result of that happens to be that when you said that, your emotions were very firm and your intentions were very determined..." An Muxi rubbed his vaguely swollen forehead. He patted the bench, indicating that he should also sit down, and his expression then became serious, "Seriously, this time it was also caused by a vampire... I still think it's a problem for people and vampires to be together. He said himself that he is hemophobic, but no one knows whether that is true or not. Just like the dragons that say that they are vegetarian, what if he gets too hungry one day and eats you?"

"I'm also trying to overcome this problem now. Whenever I can get him to bite me, I won't have to worry so much." Once he mentioned the situation of his vampire patient, Doctor Shang could not help but rub his temples again and sigh lightly with mixed feelings, "By the way, let me ask you a question – if a vampire is staring at you motionlessly, his eyes are turning red, and he is slowly approaching, besides wanting to bite you, what else could it be for?"

Realising that the other party and himself were not paying attention to the same point at all, An Muxi couldn't help but question him in a low voice, "Are you sure – he really doesn't want to bite you at all?" He met his friend's determined gaze, and only after a long time did he finally grimace reluctantly, "That means he's in heat, he wants to kiss you... aren't you always being teased? Can't you react to this situation?"

Shang Haojia subconsciously nodded slightly, holding his jaw in contemplation for a long time before suddenly turning his head and looking behind him as if he sensed something.

Almost the very moment his gaze shifted, Wei Long leapt from the towering roof of the building and landed on the ground, actually stumbling forward in an awkward manner.

Not caring about his own elegance, the blood in the vampire's eyes receded when he saw the human doctor sitting properly on the bench. Breathing a soft sigh of relief, he greeted him with a quick step towards him, "My dear, I heard that Wayne Loki's men are looking for you everywhere–"

"Don't worry, it's already been dealt with." Propping himself up on the bench and turning around neatly, Shang Haojia opened his arms with a light smile and welcomed the terrified vampire into his arms, patting his back soothingly, "Your Apostle Muxi is still here, I'll be fine, don't worry."

"With all due respect, although I have a lot of trust in the abilities of Apostle Muxi, the fact that you are with Apostle Muxi is the very source of my concern..." With a worried glance at the elf who was reeking of alcohol, Wei Long slightly lowered his voice and made an effort to hold the human doctor in his arms tighter, "Please forgive my outburst, I was really too worried – It seems that, at least for a short time, I have no way to safely allow you out of my sight..."

"It's okay, I can understand." Patting the vampire's back and feeling the strong force from his arms, it was clear that the other party was indeed scared to death. Remembering what the elf had just said, Shang Haojia cautiously assessed the angle of the two and made a snap decision, placing a soft kiss on the side of his neck, "Okay, okay, it's okay – his men don't seem to have a very high IQ, let's talk about it later and find a reliable way to..."

Overwhelmed by sheer surprise, the vampire blinked hard and looked into the human doctor's straightforward gaze, and his normally pale face suddenly flushed with blood.

Not expecting to kiss him like that, Shang Haojia's face took on a slightly suspicious colour of blood. With a light cough and two steps back, he pushed the glasses up on his face, and his eyes dodged unconsciously to the side, "You – are you okay?"

"Probably not too good – Dear, I'm afraid to say this in case you think it's funny. I feel like I might be dying." The blood still remained on the vampire's face, but it suddenly took on a look of unconscious pain. Lifting a hand to cover his chest, he took two breathless steps backwards, "I feel – like my heart seems to have started beating..."

Realising that the other party's reaction was obviously a bit off, Doctor Shang hurriedly held him up, suddenly feeling helpless for the first time in his years of medical practice, "But – but I only know how to start a heart that stopped beating. This heart suddenly started to beat – what kind of first aid should I use..."

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Doctor Shang has made a move!

Feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and get better as I go through the book.

Translated: October 3, 2021

Edited: August 10, 2023