My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 18

Dislocated Joints Should Be Reset Quickly

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"Your existence is already unscientific enough, how can you still live so unscientifically…" Doctor Shang opened his eyes in surprise. Looking at the depressed elf ball in front of him, he finally couldn't help but shake his head painfully, "Muxi, I have heard you sing. As a person who can be kicked out of a KTV, who gave you the courage to sing to a werewolf?"

"I can't help it, we have to take a licence test – but because of my origin and pedigree, I didn't have to do this kind of front-line grassroot work. Because of this problem, I have been demoted three levels in a row. If I can't pass the third level of the vocal test, I can only go to the insurance department for a stamp." An Muxi shook his head in frustration, then sighed disheartenedly, "I was holding on to my last bit of hope, thinking that the aesthetics of werewolves and humans may be different. Humans may find it unpleasant, but it might still be useful for werewolves…"

After listening to his words, Shang Haojia had roughly figured out the situation. Looking at him helplessly with his arms folded, he sighed, unable to laugh or cry, "As a result, you only sang a few words, and that werewolf couldn't help but scream and run out frantically while beating his chest?"

Subconsciously nodding, the hard-hit light elf propped himself up in surprise and looked at the anthropologist who is suspected to have the blood of a prophet in him, "That's it – how can you figure it out so clearly?"

"Because this is also the most realistic reaction every time we listen to you sing." Pulling the elf ball up from the ground, Shang Haojia shook his head helplessly, and sympathetically patted the other person's shoulder, "Trust me, if the bloodline condition allowed it, they must have turned to madness long ago…"

An Muxi looked at him with tears in his eyes. He was silent for three seconds, then suddenly held his shoulders and vigorously shook him back and forth, "Doctor Shang – I know you are a good doctor! Is there still no cure for singing out of tune? If this continues, I will definitely embarrass my family!"

"Stop, stop. There is no cure for signing out of tune, but if you calm down and stop shaking me to death, I can help you think of other ways…" Shang Haojia was so dizzy from his shaking that it took him time to respond. However, before he could get away, the hand holding his shoulder suddenly loosened, and there was a muffled noise in his ear.

Looking over, the majestic face of his old father was in front of him. The elf apostle who had been driven crazy by his inability to sing had fallen to the ground crying. One hand was awkwardly pressed under his body, and the other was still beating the floor beside him in grief and feebleness.

"Even someone of this level can entangle you, have you forgotten all the fighting skills taught to you?" After lecturing his unsatisfactory son, Father Shang adjusted his clothes and looked at the strange visitor who was still lying on the ground, "Who are you and why are you bullying my son?"

"Dad, Dad – this is my senior. He is a little agitated because he is suffering from an incurable condition." Shang Haojia hadn't been beaten since he was young, over twenty years ago, but he had been chased and beaten by others. His father's words for helping him had never changed. Shang Haojia was moved to tears, but he stepped forward to explain, pulling up the elf who was still stunned, "Furthermore, according to our professional code, we can't fight back against someone at this level…"

Shang Haojia's fighting ability was taught by his father. As soon as he saw the pain in An Muxi's face as he held his right arm, he didn't need to ask more. After touching his elbow, Shang Haojia turned his right forearm so that it was facing upwards, flicked his wrist to the outside, then shook his elbow joint and returned it to its socket. Without looking, he beckoned behind him, "Lend me your tie, I will return it to you later."

Not expecting to be discovered so easily, the vampire who came to watch the excitement raised his eyebrows in surprise. However, he neatly untied his tie and gave it to the human doctor who had entered into a professional state with a smile, "My doctor, I am honoured to be your assistant, is there anything else I need to do?"

"You need to – unbutton a few buttons of your shirt appropriately, otherwise it won't look very good without a tie." Doctor Shang nodded, gave a second medical order, then wrapped the tie around An Muxi's arm a few times. He tied a knot and hung it around his neck, and told him to let the arm hang on his chest, "Generally, humans need two to three weeks to heal, but you can adapt it according to your own circumstances, just remember to come back for a follow-up visit."

"Okay, I'll remember…" Before he could respond, he had already gone through a series of being taken down, having his elbow dislocated, and then having it reset. The legs of the elf who had always been responsible for long-distance transmission of prayer-type spell attacks were still trembling a little. Seeing the human police officer with a strong physical attack output in front of him, he couldn't help swallowing his saliva and cautiously taking a few steps back, "Uncle – my name is An Muxi, an investigator from the Special Ability and Ethnic Investigation Agency. I came to cooperate with your police department in handling this emergency…"

Looking suspiciously at the seemingly weak young man in front of him, Father Shang nodded noncommittally, and suddenly looked at his son on the side, "You know someone from the special agency, and a vampire with a werewolf friend – you haven't awaken some superpower, right?"

As a standard human, Doctor Shang was more and more proud and grateful for his identity. Waving his hand quickly, he earnestly assured him, "No, no – Dad, don't worry, until now, in every sense and indicator, I have lived very scientifically." 

After receiving his reply, Father Shang nodded in satisfaction and patted his son on the shoulder twice in relief, "That's more like it, unlike when you were eleven years old and we burned that letter from some magic school…"

"Huh?" Shang Haojia blinked in amazement and suddenly felt as though he had missed some extraordinary information. 

After subconsciously taking two steps back, he was slapped on the top of his head by his father, "I'm joking around, yet you really believed that – If you can become a magician from watching a few TV shows, wouldn't your mother and I have retired and travelled the world already?"

"Uncle, you seem to have some misunderstanding about magic. In fact, according to the Covenant for the Exceptional and Special Races, magicians have to pay a high tax of 97.3% of the proceeds from the magic they show on TV." The diligent elf apostle trotted along. Although it was painful to breathe, he just barely kept up with Father Shang's vigorous pace, and seriously explained the unremitting efforts of the special agency to safeguard human rights to him, "In addition, we have also imposed a lot of restrictions on other professions for magicians, and we must try our best to ensure that ordinary human jobs…"

Watching the two people walk away, Doctor Shang, who was almost fooled, wiped away his cold sweat. Just as he shook his head and breathed a sigh of relief, the gentle and elegant voice of the vampire suddenly came from behind him, "My dear friend, don't feel frustrated about this kind of thing – in fact, the difficulties faced by magicians in daily life are much more severe than those of inhuman races like us."

"To be honest, after having in-depth contact with you, I feel that my love for humans is getting deeper and deeper." Shang Haojia shook his head with a chuckle. Turning around, he looked at the vampire who had unbuttoned two buttons on his shirt, and nodded in satisfaction, "But why is being a magician more severe than you, because they have to pay more taxes?"

 "This is only one aspect – in addition, they have to go through a series of internship periods, such as apprentice magician, standardised trainee magician, and on-duty magician, then finally pass the general examination to obtain the qualification certificate." Wei Long answered with a smile as he moved to the side of the hallway, slowly accompanying him back to the lounge, "After successfully obtaining the magician qualification, they have to pass tedious written examinations, interviews, and practical skill tests every year. If they want to be promoted to a higher level, they must engage in magic research, write a paper of sufficient quality, or invent a new magic…"

"I don't know why, but that somehow feels a bit familiar." Raising his hand and rubbing his chin, Doctor Shang nodded with deep feeling. Before he could express his sympathy towards these magician friends, he saw the conspicuously tall figure of his werewolf friend at the door.

"Jialun, are you being chased by another werewolf?" They were slightly startled by the other party's rare embarrassed appearance. Although there was usually a mutual dislike between them, Wei Long still took a step forward and spoke with concern, "I thought you just went to give a statement to explain some of the circumstances…"

"I gave the statement. But as a result, they said that I would probably share a common language with that bastard werewolf, so they asked me to help with the interrogation of that guy."  Even though He Jialun's clothes were torn and a bit messy, there were still two bloodstains on his face, and his hair was dishevelled, he looked extremely proud, "A low-level werewolf actually dared to laugh at me for my wagging tail – I beat him up without saying anything, and tied his tail around his neck!"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

I think that I am going to set a tentative schedule for my uploads. Sundays will be for My Vampire Faints at Blood, and Wednesdays and Fridays can be for SCI. I'll try this for a bit to see how it goes, whether I can keep up with that, whether that's too much, or whether I can do more than that.

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: June 27, 2021

Edited: August 1, 2023