My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 16

Pupils Dilate When You Are Nervous

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"What the hell did my mother teach you?!" Shang Haojia suddenly stood still. Looking at the vampire in front of him in amazement, he shook his head in disbelief, "I don't think this will work. If you turn into a monster, you risk being beaten when you go out…"

"I was originally a monster, so what is there to be afraid of?" Wei Long answered in a leisurely manner. He sat down on the bed in the rest room, then suddenly leaned over and stared into his eyes, "My dear friend, you really have received too much foreign information, which can interfere with your thoughts and make you feel tired…"

Subconsciously greeting the pair of black eyes, his consciousness seemed to suddenly be sucked in by something. Shang Haojia was shocked. He suddenly shuddered and woke up, "My vampire friend – are you hypnotising me?"

"Well – yes." Without any embarrassment of being discovered, the vampire groaned slightly, then nodded sincerely, "I have learned it from TV, it should be useful."

"Aren't you all known as an anti-scientific existence? Why do you all live so scientifically…" Previously thinking that vampires were dignified beings who could use cool talents such as flying and hypnosis, Doctor Shang finally realised that his thoughts had been poisoned by film and television, and he shook his head in disappointment.

Raising his eyebrows and looking at the other person's expression, a hint of meaningful blood flashed through the vampire's ink-coloured pupils. Snapping his fingers with a smile, a rose appeared out of thin air on his fingertips, "My dear friend, vampires are just non-human creatures. All of the numerous extraordinary talents we are said to have are actually just imposed on us by the imagination of humans – but in order to fulfil your imagination, I am very happy to learn those abilities. If you can give me such time and opportunities, I will feel very honoured…"

"Are you learning magic?" Shang Haojia raised his hand to poke the rose, but before he could touch it, the rose suddenly exploded into thin air, bursting into a cloud of smoke.

The smoke didn't disperse, but rather gathered into a bat. After flapping back and forth a few times without thinking, it finally merged into the vampire's body.

The process of playing handsome was once again forcibly terminated, and Wei Long finally showed some embarrassment on his face. Coughing, he shook his head, "No – my friend. In fact, I just wanted to show off my charm properly to promote our relationship, my body just did me a small favour…"

"You can split. Are you a bat? Can you show me again?" Doctor Shang straightened up happily, and patted the vampire on the shoulder in a friendly way, "Seriously, you can actually split. This ability is already very cool, there is no need to pretend to be a magician…"

"Naturally, but bats are, after all, a creature that most people don't like. It is written in ‘The Vampire's Guide to Love’ that it is very inappropriate and rude to casually release a bat in front of the person you love…" Not expecting such a reversal, the vampire's spirit, which was a little depressed, was refreshed again and the blood in his ink-coloured eyes thickened again. As his pale and slender fingers unbuttoned his suit, a brief black mist appeared around him, and a bat fluttered out of the mist, "If you really want to see them, I can help you control them. After all, although the bats carry my will, they still have the instincts of bats…"

"No need, most animals that come into my hands do not dare to struggle." Shang Haojia shook his head calmly. He searched his pockets and pulled out a pair of latex gloves to put on. Accurately pinching the bat's wings, he pinched the back of its neck with one hand, took out a pair of delicate tweezers from his pocket, and skillfully checked the mouth of the experimental animal, all while leisurely continuing to chat with the vampire in front of him, "You mentioned ‘The Vampire's Guide to Love’ – is this a book? Why do you have such a book?"

"Well…" Seeing Doctor Shang's proficient actions, as though he was treating a mouse, the vampire felt faint in his heart for the first time, and was silent for a while before keeping up with the progress of the conversation, "This is a guide for pure-blooded vampire gentlemen to capture their beloved partners. It's just – I have to admit that one-third of the content of this guide is no longer valid in your case…"

"My pleasure." Shang Haojia chuckled and nodded noncommittally, then gave him the bat in his hand, "My friend, I have not studied these things, but based on my years of experience in dealing with mice, this bat of yours is a bit old."

"Thank you for reminding me, it seems that I really should change my batch of avatars." Nodding with a guilty conscience, the vampire who doesn't know the heat or cold, tasted the feeling of cold sweat for the first time. Although he was still holding on to the conversation, the blood in his pupils had become denser.

Shang Haojia looked at his eyes with interest. Taking off his gloves slowly, he precisely threw them into the trash can, "It seems that when your eyes turn red, it is indeed not because you want to bite me."

"What?" Becoming the subject of experimental observation without knowing it, the vampire blinked blankly and his pupils quickly returned to their pure black colour once again.

"Your eyes, maybe you haven't noticed it yourself – after all, you are not like normal people. When humans feel nervous, excited, happy, or in pain, their pupils will be enlarged, and their breathing and heartbeat will speed up accordingly, However, your pupils have been dilated from the beginning and your breathing and heartbeat are just as undirected, so I have been working to find another clinical indication that can be used to judge your emotions and is effective enough." After a series of professional vocabulary, and looking at the vampire in front of him who was obviously starting to get confused, Doctor Shang finally provoked a satisfied smile and patted his shoulder, "To put it bluntly, it is that I have found that as long as you are nervous, your eyes will turn red…"

"My dear friend, I have to admit – your observations are very keen, and you have helped us solve the mystery that has plagued the blood race for a thousand years." Wei Long blinked curiously and couldn't help but shake his head and laugh. He got up and took the opportunity to have a warm hug to celebrate the cognitive revolution with the other party.

"In fact, the blood race's eyes do turn red when they want to suck blood, but what has always troubled us is that in many cases we have no thoughts of sucking blood, but our eyes will still turn blood-coloured – This has aroused the resentment of many young ladies and wives. They thought that their spouses were not sincere, that they were filled with blood-sucking thoughts, and would even say, 'my spouse always refuses to rinse his mouth after sucking blood', or 'my spouse likes to sleep upside down on the beam'. In no particular order, these have become the three major reasons for the high divorce rates of couples in the blood family…"

"It sounds so sad. You should love science a little bit." With a feeling of insincerity, Shang Haojia patted him on the shoulder sympathetically and suddenly became interested in exploring the vampire society, "Speaking of which, there is one thing that I always find strange. Do you vampires have no clothes other than suits and tuxedos?"

Perhaps wearing a tuxedo was indeed a bit strange in modern society, however Wei Long wore a black suit tailored to fit him perfectly, even his shirt was a perfect black. The only splash of colour in his outfit was his red tie.

Although it seemed to carry the demeanour of an ascetic social elite, for Shang Haojia, who sees him in the same tuxedo every time he sees the other, he undoubtedly feels a certain degree of visual fatigue.

Wei Long couldn't help but shake his head and laugh. "In fact, we only choose suits and tuxedos, not for any special reasons, but because we cannot see our own image in the mirror, so we do not dare to easily try other styles of clothing – If you can help me choose, I am very willing to try some other outfits that suit me." Patiently answering, he suddenly took out his phone and handed it to him sincerely, "Actually, Auntie has made the same request of me, saying that even though I am still very young, my attire is somewhat old-fashioned, without the liveliness of a young man. She also said that since you are in a white coat all day long, if I wear a black suit again, there will always be a feeling of black and white impermanence – what is a feeling of black and white impermanence? Please forgive my ignorance, although I want to do my best to live in the countryside, the traditional Chinese folk culture is too extensive and profound. My understanding of it is still only a drop in the ocean…"

"Using 'a drop in the ocean' means that you have already gone into the countryside to follow the customs – Black and white impermanence are the ghosts of Hades. In your cultural system, they are probably the equivalent of the Seven Demon Kings of Hell under Satan." He couldn't help but wonder what his mother had said to the other party. Shang Haojia shook his head helplessly, explaining with due diligence. Taking his phone, he opened up Taobao, "In fact, I'm not good at buying clothes. It's better to ask Muxi for help, he can't wait to change clothes eight times a day…"

Before he could say another word, a familiar voice was suddenly heard outside the door, "I think I heard someone talking about me behind my back, saying that I change my clothes too often – so you really turned yourself in? How did you sleep last night?"

Shang Haojia raised his head subconsciously and saw An Muxi poking his head in at the door, and he couldn't help but rub his eyes in astonishment, "Why are you here – have you now evolved to be able to hear the calls of callous beasts?"

"You can understand it this way, after all, I was indeed caught and sent here to help." An Muxi nodded, adjusted his clothes, and walked through the doorway. His eyes suddenly fell on the vampire who was sitting on the side, and he looked at the two in surprise, "Why are you two together? Can you cure his disease?"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: June 11/12, 2021

Edited: August 1, 2023