My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 15

Prepare Mosquito Repellent in the Summer

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"Professional, can you be more professional? This is dog food, the kind of commercial food that can only be called dog food." There was a majestic voice that came floating down from upstairs, causing everybody to raise their heads. Father Shang had already walked down the stairs quickly, and slapped his son on the back of his head, "Truly outstanding, you even grabbed food away from a wolf – Follow me upstairs, I saved some food for you."

Seeing his resolute old father turn around and start to head upstairs, Shang Haojia hurriedly chased after him. Swallowing the dog food in his mouth, he pulled on his arm, "Dad, I brought the witnesses. One of these two is a legal werewolf with a dog certificate, and as for this one, you probably know –"

"We are acquainted. It is said that he is a vampire from the Middle Ages, yet his English is not as good as the new college student in our department." Father Shang obviously did not have a good attitude towards his son's legendary boyfriend. He nodded to Wei Long, took his son, and walked up to the second floor.

While being pulled almost off his feet, Shang Haojia took the time to wink at Wei Long, then turned around to catch up with his father's strong pace, "Dad, there are differences between English and American accents. Nowadays, college students pick up American accents, but he is from England, so it's definitely different from theirs…"

"Are you starting to speak for him now?" Father Shang suddenly stood still, looked at his son in front of him, and watched as his brain malfunctioned, "Silly boy, you don't need to sell him to me – Have you seen grass looking for mules, melons looking for squirrels, or carrots and rabbits falling in love?"

"Dad – I understand your point, but can't you find some carnivores to use with this metaphor…" Unexpectedly, this is what his father was dissatisfied with. Shang Haojia shook his head, jogging the entire way to the office, "Dad, Dad – listen to me first. The matter of Wei Long is not important now, what is important is that vampires and werewolves are fighting on our streets. Are you not surprised at all?"

"We are not scientists, we only care about why they are fighting, not about who they are." Father Shang took him to sit down at the table, stuffed a boxed lunch into his hands, and motioned for a few officers to take the people into the interrogation room to take their statements, "After seeing a big, living person who, in the blink of an eye, turned into a two-metre-tall werewolf, howling at the moon, what's the use of being surprised?"

"Well – probably to try to show some respect to their persona…" Thinking of his husky friend, Shang Haojia couldn't help but shake his head and smile. Taking two bites of rice into his mouth, he said, "I was really scared while we were on the phone earlier. What was going on then? A werewolf near you suddenly transformed?"

"You're not far off – I don't know why, but he suddenly aimed for me and rushed over, as if he was going to eat me raw." Father Shang nodded, and his expression suddenly sank, "Then your boyfriend fell from the sky, hugged me, and jumped behind two police cars – He was so skilled, it was as if he had stolen many little girls like that. This kind of person, can you believe in them?"

Unable to bear telling the truth of the princess carry to his father, Shang Haojia touched his nose with a guilty conscience, finally choosing to lower his head, and silently picked up his meal in humiliation.

After stitching wounds for the entire night, he was really hungry, so he finished the meal very quickly. Father Shang watched his son gorging himself and frowned, "Your mother was troubled by you going into forensic medicine and having trouble finding a wife because of that, so she forced you to change your field of study. If you can't find a wife now, forget it, but how can you be worthy of your mother if you are bent?"

"I – " Shang Haojia blinked innocently, automatically understanding that those words meant that his old father felt sorry for his son. However, before he could put his emotions into words, Mother Shang's discontented voice could be heard from outside the door.

"Don't glare at our son as if he is a pig that was raised by someone else. You can feel distressed, but why must you include me?" Encouragingly patting her son on the shoulder, Mother Shang threw her inspection report on the table and glared at Father Shang again, "Don't worry about your dad, he is just used to being the captain and being able to blow up at anyone, only I can handle him – In the beginning, I forced you to change your field, but Mom was wrong, so now Mom will support you in everything in the future."

"Mom…" Shang Haojia called out with tears in his eyes. Before he could say the second word, Father Shang couldn't help but sit up straight and hit the table hard twice.

"You are just blindly supporting, nonsense. That man is a vampire, do you know what vampires are? In China, they are like mosquitoes – You want to be with a mosquito? What's more, it's a male mosquito!"

Shang Haojia couldn't speak, he could only drink his tea in silence. When he heard the vivid metaphor his father spoke, Shang Haojia spit out the tea he had in his mouth, causing him to choke and cough.

Mother Shang quickly patted her son on the back, then glared at Father Shang reproachfully, "What nonsense. They are tall, long-legged, and good-looking, it's just that they don't have a good complexion. That can be fixed by applying some foundation, so why call them a mosquito?"

"Mom, Dad – you two elders should calm down first, we aren't even in a relationship. We are just ordinary friends, the most ordinary kind." After taking a breath, Shang Haojia wiped away the tears that fell from his coughing, and laughed while soothing the overexcited emotions of his two elders, "Moreover – what Dad said is right. Male mosquitoes don't bite, and Wei Long doesn't suck blood. Don't worry, he and I are definitely not a carrot and a rabbit…"

"You can't be a cabbage and a rabbit either!" Father Shang's eyes stared at him again, but as soon as he sat up straight, Mother Shang pressed his shoulders back.

"It's all right, if my son says that he doesn't suck blood, then he doesn't suck blood. What are you yelling for? The whole police department will think that your son found a rabbit…"

Seeing that the situation was becoming more and more uncontrollable, Shang Haojia decisively stood up and resolutely chose to lift his legs and run, "Mom, Dad, you two talk first, I'm done eating and am going to go to the washroom."

"Wait." Before he could escape the office, Father Shang's dignified voice came from behind him.

Under the perpetual militarised control, the orders of Father Shang were undoubtedly very powerful. Shang Haojia, who had attempted to escape, turned around stiffly. Father Shang suddenly raised his hand, as if giving a title, and solemnly placed a small box in his hand.

The box was flat, cylindrical, red, and slightly wider than the base of a thumb. As a few indescribable brands were listed in his mind, Shang Haojia quickly adjusted his mentality, put on an upright but not curious expression, and lowered his head to look at the box in the palm of his hand.

On the lid of the box, the words 'soothing ointment' were obediently shining at him.

"…" Shang Haojia was silent for a long time before finally raising his head in pain, "Dad, you –"

"Now that you have grown up, you can have your own ideas about what to do. If you have to be with him, I can't stop you, but you must take protective measures, understand?" Father Shang patted him on the shoulder, looking at his son earnestly, "This thing is much more useful than any mosquito-repellent spray. When we went to the countryside, we relied on this to keep the mosquitoes away. You have to remember that the more critical it is, the more you need to apply, okay?"

"Dad, Wei Long is really not–" He shook his head dumbfoundedly and wondered whether he wanted to say that vampires were not mosquitoes or that Wei Long was really not his boyfriend. Thinking about it, Shang Haojia had met one of the profound hardships in life thanks to his old father.

Under his father's sorrowful gaze, looking like he was a farmer that had just lost a pig, Shang Haojia finally swallowed back the second half of his sentence and nodded reluctantly, "… Okay, I'll remember."

After receiving a messy lesson on sexual health and guaranteeing three times that he will remember to apply the ointment, Doctor Shang finally carried the empty lunch box and walked out of the office in a daze.

"My dear friend, you look more tired than before – If I were you, I would definitely choose to take a proper rest."

Shang Haojia's steps paused. Turning to look in the direction of the sound, he saw the culprit vampire leaning against the corner, leisurely playing on his phone.

Seeing that he was looking over, Wei Long put the phone in his pocket, and his ink-coloured pupils were full of meaningful smiles.

"Why didn't you go to give a statement? Did the others go?" Rubbing his temple and throwing the empty lunch box into the garbage can, Shang Haojia's mind actually came up with the naïve idea of going to sleep and waking up to find that everything was just a dream.

"Before I went to greet you, your father had me write an all-inclusive, multi-angled, and very meticulous statement. I must say that your father is indeed very dignified and determined. If he were living in the Middle Ages, he would at the very least be a well-tempered knight with great military achievements." With a preliminary understanding of the police station, Wei Long wrapped his arm around his waist and led him to the lounge, "My dear friend, was your conversation with your parents pleasant? When I saw your mother just now, I was really shocked – I have never seen such a perfect combination of vitality, elegance, and skill in a lady. With such a family, it's no wonder that you have been cultivated so well and so eye-catching…"

"Did you talk to my mother just now?" After keenly finding the source of his mother's support for him, meeting the vampire's default calm smile, Shang Haojia couldn't help but rub his forehead and sigh resentfully, "No wonder my mother accepted it so quickly… What did you say to her?"

"That's a secret between us." The vampire tilted his head and blinked at him with a clear smile in his eyes, "Speaking of which, do you know how to make a purchase online? I want to buy some lipstick and foundation, and a kind of magical pink powder product…"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: June 9/10, 2021