My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 7

Exercise Caution Against Sprains of the Psoas Muscle

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"Mr. Vampire who jumps higher, I just want to know – you clearly told me that you came by car, are you planning to take me all the way to your house like this?" Seeing the cordial ground far away from him once again, Shang Haojia finally realised that he seemed to be careless and was deceived.

"My friend, it seems that your collection and sorting of information is still not perfect. You should remember that when we first met, my car was ruthlessly destroyed by a minibus." Wei Long opened his mouth with a smile, and suddenly a hand was placed on his back. He calmly held the other person with one hand, while his other hand accurately grabbed his legs.

Unpreparedly, he was lifted into the air by his opponent. Shang Haojia instinctively hurriedly raised his hands to embrace his neck, and was soothed by Wei Long patting his back, "This posture is just to make you relax. Please do not hesitate. Don’t worry, even if you don’t hug me, you still don’t have to worry about falling."

"The only thing I am worrying about right now is that the windows of my house seem to have not been closed yet – although, in the current situation, even if a thief enters, it is estimated that they can only wipe the dust out of my house." Shang Haojia forcibly turned his attention away from the meaningless things such as ‘I was actually held like a princess’ and ‘I was so easily hugged like a princess’. He couldn’t help but sigh depressedly and shake his head heartbrokenly, "I originally thought that due to the existence of the spirit of contract in mediaeval times, vampires should be a very honest race…"

"Although vampires are indeed not a very honest race, I really did not deceive you, my dear friend." Wei Long chuckled as he suddenly embraced him and fell to the ground. Helping Shang Haojia stand firm, he held his left shoulder with one hand, and bowed gracefully at him, "On the road where you and I walk together, I am willing to act as your car anytime."

"Hiss– " He didn’t notice when he was being hugged before, but as soon as he stood on the ground, the soreness in his waist made Shang Haojia unable to help sucking in a cold breath, "Then – Mr. Car, how many sections of road did we pass just now?"

"What’s wrong, is it a sprained waist?" Seeing the strange look on his face, Wei Long quickly took off his boastful posture. Taking a step forward with concern, there was some real annoyance in his eyes, "Oh, I forgot that human bodies are much more fragile… Is it bad, do you need to see a doctor?"

"Why would I see a doctor? I finally took a vacation. Are you planning on sending me back to work again?" Shang Haojia pressed faintly on his lower back, and shook his head with lingering fears, "It doesn’t matter, it’s a simple strain, I can just put a plaster on it – But you’d better give me sufficient psychological preparation and tell me how far away from your house we are. I’d feel better after preparing my waist muscles…"

"Please allow me to express my sincerest apologies. In fact, I did drive over, but I stopped a little farther away, and in order to add some innocuous little taste, I did that reckless behaviour before. I really apologise for the harm caused to you carelessly." Wei Long bowed deeply at him apologetically, and extended a hand to him with concern, "My friend, please forgive me for not knowing how to express my guilt – The car is on the side of the road, do you need me to help you walk across it?"

"It’s not anything serious, it’s just a strain, and it doesn’t feel bad anymore." Shang Haojia waved his hand and jumped on the spot twice. The familiar soreness spread immediately and relentlessly, causing him to take a breath.

Doctor Shang gritted his teeth tenaciously, coughed a few times to cover up the pain, and raised his head calmly, "Look, it doesn’t hurt anymore."

"Very convincing – but in order to give me a chance to make up for it, I will help you get into the car, okay?" Wei Long nodded convincingly, but still raised his hand to hold Shang Haojia’s arm, and put his other hand on his shoulder.

Shang Haojia wanted to refuse, but the soreness on his waist had not dissipated, so Wei Long supported him all the way to the car, and thoughtfully opened the door for him.

"I heard that it was a Rolls Royce that was destroyed last time – are all you vampires so rich?" Looking at the dazzling trident logo on the front of the car, Shang Haojia leaned on his waist and sat in the back seat, and finally couldn’t help but question the evil old capitalist forces. (Angel: The trident logo refers to the Maserati logo.)

"Actually, these cars are bought by Jialun. I usually prefer to use the jumping method – After all, although driving is not difficult for me to master, once I encounter a situation like last time, it is easy to cause some unnecessary troubles." Wei Long closed the car door for him, got into the driver’s seat, and buckled his seat belt properly, "As for whether vampires are very rich – I really don’t know about this… My wealth comes from the treasures left on the European continent that year, but my friends here say that their treasures have been handed over to the country."

"We seem to have this glorious tradition…" The air conditioning in the car quickly dissipated the heat of the summer night. Shang Haojia relaxedly leaned on the back seat, and his tiredness surged up unknowingly.

"Interestingly, when I visited this country for the first time, I also made some jokes because of the unfamiliar place." The car started moving steadily, and amid the roar of the engine, the vampire regained its graceful chuckle, "At that time, although I had restored my memories from before petrification and remembered the location of the treasures, I had no way to find them. In addition, vampires could not touch the sunlight and could not leave an image on a camera, so there was no way to find a suitable job, and I almost fell to the point of sleeping on the streets."

"It sounds as though you vampires’ definition of ‘fun’ is really weird." The temperature in the car was just right, and the gentle and elegant tone of the vampire seemed to have a peculiar rhythm, which made Shang Haojia so sleepy that he could hardly open his eyes.  He replied vaguely, then couldn’t stop yawning.

"No, no – it’s just that I haven’t covered the interesting part yet." Wei Long chuckled and responded unhurriedly as he drove the car steadily onto the outer ring road leading to the suburbs, "In desperation, I stopped a passerby who seemed to have a relatively decent identity. I asked him for help – I told him that I was a pure-blooded vampire that came from Europe in the Middle Ages and possessed a considerable amount of treasures. As long as he could help me return to the European continent, after obtaining those treasures, I would definitely treat him with generous rewards."

"This kind of fraud has been outdated for twenty years. If anyone would believe that, that person really doesn’t have a brain…" Thinking of the scams that once claimed to be a ‘failed French president’ or the ‘tenth generation heir of Qianlong’, Shang Haojia couldn’t help but interrupt him in a low voice, then changed his mind and half propped himself up with interest. (Angel: Qianlong was the fifth Emperor of the Qing dynasty, reigning from 1735 to 1796.)

"As a result, he said to me – If you are a vampire, try and bite me." Wei Long smiled helplessly, shook his head, and sighed solemnly, "So I honestly told him that I had the defect of fainting when I see blood – and then I was treated as someone with a mental illness and sent to the Public Security Bureau…"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: May 13, 2021

Edited: July 28, 2023