Wilderness Vegetation Chapter 61

Chapter 61

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"The car has been fixed, I drove it over to show you." Xu Yan pulled into the garage and got out of the car. He deliberately ruffled his hair messily over his forehead to somewhat cover his red eyes. Pointing at the front of the car, he said, "Look, isn't it flawless?"

Shen Zhi bent down to inspect the headlights and nodded, "Mhmm." He then asked Xu Yan, "Have you had dinner?"

"No, are you going to cook for me?"

"What would you like to eat?"

Shen Zhi paused after asking, reaching out to brush Xu Yan's hair aside, but Xu Yan hugged him first, lowering his head. "Just something simple, I'm really tired today, so very tired."

"I should have picked you up, or I could have gone to your place," Shen Zhi said.

"I wanted to come here." Xu Yan felt his eyes stinging unbearably. He said, "I'll take a shower first, today's filming location was especially messy, and I got dirt all over my face."

But Shen Zhi tightened his embrace, and Xu Yan patted his back, asking, "What's wrong?"

"Every time you suddenly show up," Shen Zhi said softly, "I feel like I'm dreaming."

Xu Yan felt a lump in his throat and blinked furiously to hold back tears. He took a deep breath and jokingly asked, "So, is this a good dream or a nightmare?"

"It's the best dream," Shen Zhi replied.

After showering, Xu Yan placed a warm towel over his eyes for five minutes until he looked relatively okay before coming out. He threw his clothes into the washing machine and went downstairs, where Shen Zhi was setting dishes on the table: two dishes, one soup, and a bowl of rice.

"Have you eaten?"

"Mmm." Shen Zhi poured two glasses of water, placing one by Xu Yan's bowl and keeping one for himself. "I'll sit with you while you eat."

Xu Yan was very quiet as he ate, his mouth full of food. Shen Zhi was looking at his phone, occasionally glancing up at him. Xu Yan took a sip of water and asked, "Busy with work?"

"There's a contract I haven't finished drafting, I'll do it in the study." Shen Zhi handed him a napkin. "If you're tired, you can go to bed first."

After dinner, Xu Yan told Shen Zhi to focus on his work and went downstairs to make juice. When he opened the fridge, he glanced at the message board, and in the lower-left corner – the ugly little smiley face had been wiped away by Shen Zhi.

For more than three years, he had been reluctant to touch it, but now Shen Zhi had erased it, just as he used to do – because Xu Yan's drawing was ugly, he would wipe it off repeatedly, waiting for Xu Yan to redraw it.

"Childish," Xu Yan muttered to himself, smiling even though his eyes were stinging.

He picked up a marker and redrew an ugly little smiley face in the lower-left corner.

After nine o'clock, Shen Zhi closed his computer, stood up, and walked to the two safes, one large and one small. He entered the code to open the smaller one and took out a pillbox, carefully counting out the medication he needed to take. He returned to his desk, holding a water glass and swallowed the pills.

Inside the small safe, there were no property deeds, cash, jewellery, or important documents, only a lot of medication and all his medical records and examination reports.

Leaving the study, Shen Zhi stood outside the door to the master bedroom, feeling his fingertips tremble. He couldn't be sure if Xu Yan was really in the room, if he had truly come to see him – he even considered going to the garage to check if Xu Yan's car was there.

He gently opened the door, and unlike every other time he had entered to find the room in complete darkness, there was a faint light. Shen Zhi walked in and saw that the bedside lamp was on – not on his side, but on the other side, Xu Yan's side.

Xu Yan lay quietly in bed, covered by a blanket and holding the small crocodile plush toy. His head peeked out, framed by black hair and a light grey pillow.

This was a scene Shen Zhi had once had but then lost, a scene he had fantasised about countless times in his dreams, only for it to ultimately shatter.

Although Xu Yan had already fallen asleep, his sleep was still light. Despite Shen Zhi's quiet entry, he woke up. Xu Yan opened his eyes, lifted his head, and saw Shen Zhi standing at the foot of the bed. He sat up, rubbed his face, and asked, "What time is it?"

"Not quite half past nine." Shen Zhi walked to the bedside, sat down, and lightly pinched Xu Yan's earlobe. "Did I wake you?"

"I wake up easily anyway." Xu Yan showed a somewhat sleepy smile, looking soft and a bit helpless, "I thought it was midnight, but it's only half past nine."

"I made you some orange juice, though it's not fresh anymore." Xu Yan reached for the cup on the bedside table, and sniffed it, his nose twitching slightly like a dog's. "I can't seem to smell it."

Shen Zhi silently took the cup from his hand and put it back, then hugged Xu Yan, enveloping him in his arms.

"Why do I always want to hold you?" Shen Zhi sighed, not sure if he was asking Xu Yan or himself.

It was as if holding him tighter would make it more certain, make it certain that Xu Yan was really in front of him.

Xu Yan didn't say anything, he understood Shen Zhi's emotions all too well, which was why he couldn't find the words to say. Comfort or reassurance wouldn't work for Shen Zhi, hugs and companionship were more effective.

He nuzzled his face against the side of Shen Zhi's neck and kissed it, feeling Shen Zhi's Adam's apple move against his lips, and the arms around him tightened slightly. Xu Yan lifted his head, kissing Shen Zhi's chin, jaw, and cheeks. He also wanted to ask, "Why do I always want to kiss you?" – they had never patiently kissed each other properly before.

Xu Yan kissed almost every part of Shen Zhi's face except his lips. Shen Zhi's breathing became heavier, and he looked down at him, his voice slightly hoarse: "Yan Yan..."

"...... Change it." Xu Yan realised he still had a grievance with that nickname. He kissed the corner of Shen Zhi's mouth, "Call me something else."

Shen Zhi wanted to ask why. He felt that calling him "Yan Yan" was already the most intimate form of address. But he didn't ask, thinking that Xu Yan might have grown tired of being called that by others.

"What should I call you?" He sincerely sought Xu Yan's advice.

Xu Yan was also thinking, what would be good? Xiao Xu? Xiao Yan? It sounded like he was calling a subordinate.

As he was thinking, Shen Zhi kissed his nose, somewhat awkwardly, but he still spoke–

"Baby."

The tone was very low and soft, as if it were blending into the warm, dim light and shadows.

Xu Yan: "......"

Shen Zhi: "......"

Xu Yan said, "Forget it."

Shen Zhi replied, "Okay."

He thought Xu Yan didn't like it – if he hadn't seen Xu Yan's ears and face gradually turning red.

Xu Yan's entire head felt hot. He was used to being thick-skinned, the colder Shen Zhi had been in the past, the thicker his skin had become. He had once thought that was the balanced state of their relationship, but it turned out that the best emotional state in the world was always a mutual exchange of genuine feelings.

It turned out that besides physical desire, psychological satisfaction and tension could also make one's blood surge.

It turned out that being called "baby" by someone you really liked could indeed make you shy, regardless of gender.

It turned out that being in a relationship with Shen Zhi could also bring this kind of happiness and joy.

Shen Zhi lowered his head to kiss him, their lips touching, and called him, "Baby."

"Hmm?" Xu Yan didn't brush off the term with a 'forget it' this time, his heart beating fast. He unconsciously gripped Shen Zhi's clothes and opened his mouth, his tongue gently licking. After a sticky, lingering kiss, he asked, "Did you take a sleeping pill?"

"Just one." Shen Zhi kissed the corner of his mouth, resting his head on Xu Yan's shoulder. It wasn't just the sleeping pill, the other medications contained some sedatives, and with the side effects of the new medicine, he felt dizzy and more exhausted than ever. His speech became weary, "I'm a bit tired. I was worried that if I had insomnia, it would affect you, and you wouldn't be able to sleep either..."

His voice grew quieter. Xu Yan gently patted his back, as if soothing a child to sleep, and said softly, "It won't."

"Baby." Xu Yan called out these two words with a smile in his eyes as he said, "You're the baby."

"Mhmm..." Shen Zhi was already half-asleep, not clearly understanding what Xu Yan was saying, and only responding with a vague consciousness.

He fell asleep, lying on Xu Yan's shoulder. The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing. Xu Yan slowly laid him down on the bed, and Shen Zhi instinctively curled his legs. Xu Yan moved to the other side, covering him with the blanket. The bedside lamp was still on. Xu Yan lay down facing Shen Zhi, touching his face and eyelids, and finally kissing him on the bridge of his nose.

Xu Yan lay back, cradling the small crocodile in his arm. He closed his eyes, and about a minute later, Shen Zhi moved, placing one hand on Xu Yan's waist.

Xu Yan thought that after more than three years, they would lie in the same bed peacefully together until morning. But in the early hours, just as he was sleeping soundly, he felt Shen Zhi suddenly tremble and his breathing become rapid. Xu Yan was about to open his eyes, but they were promptly covered – it was Shen Zhi's hand.

"Did I wake you?" Shen Zhi's voice was hoarse, clearly trying to suppress his heavy breathing. He said, "It's fine, go back to sleep."

Xu Yan knew he had been woken by a nightmare and didn't want him to worry, so he murmured a "Hmm," in response.

After a few minutes, Shen Zhi removed his hand, got out of bed quietly, and turned off the bedside lamp.

Xu Yan heard the soft sound of the balcony door opening. He opened his eyes and saw the curtain swaying – Shen Zhi had gone to the balcony. He sat up and looked at the clock: two forty-seven.

At two-fifty, Xu Yan got out of bed, walked over, and opened the curtain a little. The moon was full tonight, like a distant lantern, illuminating the entire terrace, including the tall magnolia tree. Shen Zhi sat in the moonlight and the shadow of the tree, with a glass of water on the small table beside him. He was hunched over, elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands. The night breeze blew, and the leaves swayed, casting dappled shadows that danced across his hunched back.

Xu Yan walked up to him and touched his head.

Shen Zhi stiffened and lifted his head, half of his face in shadow and the other half in moonlight. His pale face and red-rimmed eyes stood in stark contrast, but Xu Yan said nothing, only asking, "Had a nightmare?"

"Mhmm." Shen Zhi's voice was hoarse as he reached out to hug Xu Yan's waist, resting his face against Xu Yan's abdomen. "I woke you up."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Xu Yan stroked his hair and the back of his neck. "You know I wake easily, but I can fall asleep just as easily."

He could feel Shen Zhi trembling.

"How long were you planning to sit out here alone?" Xu Yan asked again. "If I woke up and found you gone, wouldn't that be scary?"

"It's been a long time since I've stayed here, I'm not used to it." Xu Yan said, "Shen Zhi, I need you. We've just gotten back together, if you run off every time you have a nightmare, I'll think I'm the cause of your nightmares."

"Is it me?" Xu Yan asked him.

Shen Zhi hugged him even tighter. Xu Yan's words, 'I need you,' felt like a lifeline for him. He knew better than anyone who needed whom more. He said softly, "I dreamt that we were sleeping together, and when I woke up, you were gone."

"I've dreamt it before, many times. I dreamed we were sleeping in the same bed, but when I woke up, I was at the airport, far away from you, and you were leaving the country."

There had been many similar nights when he woke up drenched in sweat, finding no one beside him. Today, Xu Yan was finally there, but Shen Zhi was afraid of scaring him with his distress, so he came to the balcony to calm down.

"Then you should keep an eye on me, not run off to the balcony alone." Xu Yan squatted down, holding Shen Zhi's hand and looking up at him, "Shen Zhi, I'm here with you."

The bottom of his eyes reflected the moonlight, the same eyes as nine years ago, clean and sincere, such a beautiful pair of eyes.

Shen Zhi felt the icy, painful shards inside him slowly melt and smooth out, gradually giving him back a peaceful and calm shell.

This shell only filled with a full soul when he was looking at Xu Yan, being watched by Xu Yan, becoming a complete person.

"Let's go back to bed. If you can't sleep, I'll tell you a story." Xu Yan smiled at him, stood up, and led Shen Zhi back to the room.

The night breeze was still blowing, and somewhere, a leaf fell, landing in the cup of water filled with moonlight, casting ripples of light.

———

The author has something to say:

Shen Zhi (blushing): Baby, baby, baby, hehe, my wife likes being called baby!

[Zhi, you're done for, you're still taking sleeping pills and can even fall asleep while kissing. A moment of a spring night is worth a thousand gold, if you don't go bankrupt, who will?]

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: October 7, 2024 by Angel

Edited: October 27, 2024 by Angel