My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 59

Functional Exercises for Fractures

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"No, no, my arm just got crushed into three pieces and I've got dozens of broken ribs, my whole body is shattered to pieces..." The raccoon who was named waved his hand and took a few steps back, then turned to a werewolf with curly hair: "Kang Shifu, you were at the top, why don't you go and save Second Young Master?"

"No, no, no, this is the kind of thing that would be more suitable for Jin Mailang. They can cook longer and fight better..." The wolves were suddenly strewn with a chorus of excuses. The simple noodle group and the instant noodle group quickly split into two camps, no one dared to challenge these two gods, fearing that if they went up to them, they would also end up in their hands like this.

Looking at this group of useless subordinates, the snow fox Second Young Master was so angry that he was furious, but he could only look at the human who looked like the easiest to bully, "Since you don't dare to come up here, why don't you take that human as a hostage and exchange him for me – are you all going to die of stupidity!"

Hearing his words, Wei Long's gaze narrowed. He was about to leap forward to protect his human doctor when a roar suddenly erupted from the wolves, accompanied by a tantalising aroma, and the wolves fell to the ground again with a wail.

"I told you that human was a great demon, but you didn't believe me – run away!!!" No one knew which werewolf howled at the top of its lungs. One by one, the frightened wolves staggered to their feet, stumbled and fled in all directions, and in the blink of an eye faded into the night.

"Pixian Douban.... Zhuge?" Smelling the special aroma in the air, Yan Maifan raised his eyebrows and looked around the corner, and sure enough, he saw the vampire hunter who had just brought back the blood-sucking ball.

"I just came back to look for something that was lost, but there are actually so many people, I'm really ashamed." Seeing so many colleagues at once, Zhuge Kaoyu's eyes took on a bit of surprise. Handing the gun barrel over his shoulder to Wayne Loki, who was obediently following behind him, he walked quickly towards the crowd, "Master Yan, what are you doing here?"

"Well..." Despite receiving the salary of an undercover agent, Yan Tianshi, who hadn't actually lurked seriously for a whole day, deliberated for a moment before his gaze was directed towards the elf in the corner who was planting mushrooms in a cloud of darkness: "probably here to fall in love, how about you?"

"How can I put it – I'm probably also considered to be here to fall in love." Glancing behind him at the honest little pureblood, Zhuge Kaoyu then smiled helplessly and waved gently towards him, "Come over and get to know each other, this is my colleague–"

"I don't need to get to know them! I know every single one of these bastards, every single one of them has bullied me!" At the sight of this circle of acquaintances, the newly tamed bloodsucking ball instantly exploded. Jumping up and down angrily, he pressed his dentures as he agitatedly accused the group of heinous and decent foes: "I get angry when I see them, super angry! That guy over there with the white dog, you don't have to look at me, I don't have a father like you!"

"There's not much you can do about that, you were black before, and all the rights of the non-human races are not available to you. Even if they bully you, you'll just have to grit your teeth and take it." Patting his back reassuringly, Zhuge Kaoyu had barely finished his words when he was interrupted by the snow fox's shrill voice that was so angry that it broke, "You're the white dog, I'm a snow fox, a snow fox! I'm also called an arctic fox–"

"Arctic foxes or white foxes are mainly found in Siberia and the tundra of North America. You'd better memorise that too, or he'll keep repeating that bit of knowledge." The human doctor abruptly interrupted him, picking up the yoghurt elf that the fox had tossed behind him who was hanging his head in defeat. Pulling up the arm of the vampire that had been hanging by his side, he moved it gently twice, "Does it hurt, can you still move it?"

"My dear, please trust in my ability to recover as a member of the blood family – the broken bones have recovered, I just need you to help me reset them with a little manipulation." Seeing the concern beneath the calmness of his doctor, the vampire smiled lightly and shook his head, taking him into his arms with one hand and nuzzling his cheek, "I'm sorry for worrying you, I'll be more careful next time."

"You can't have x-rays taken anyway, so I'll just have to trust you this once." There was no way to judge the patient's condition by the colour of his face, and the examination equipment would not be of any use. Doctor Shang sighed lightly with a headache, and could only nod in compromise. He felt the misalignment of his elbow joint, and with experience, he neatly restored his arm: "Try it, it should be fine – your recovery ability is very strong, don't move around, be careful of it growing crooked and having to get it broken and realigned..."

"You two are so in love, if all humans and vampires could get along like this, our work would be much smoother." Looking at the tacit interaction between these two, Zhuge Kaoyu sighed heartily and looked curiously at the yoghurt elf on the side, "I was just about to go to your rehearsal – why are you dressed like this and what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here – what can I be doing here?!" Already frustrated at having failed in his first battle, he found out that these guys were not doing their job. Not realising that there was an even number of people on the field, the yoghurt elf's mind was instantly broken and he picked up the snow fox and swung it twice, "You're all here to fall in love, I'm here to work of course!"

It had been guessed that this slow-witted best friend was clearly not self-conscious about being chased. Doctor Shang, who had seen a lot of people, rubbed his jaw and still had the decency to choose not to make a point of it, nodding towards a few people, "You're all from the Special Department, so if you have nothing else to do, we'll go back first. This fox will be left to you guys to deal with–"

"Please wait a moment, in fact, I came here not only to talk about love, but also specifically to come and apologise." Zhuge Kaoyu suddenly interrupted him and stepped forward, bowing apologetically towards Wei Long: "Due to my momentary negligence, the holy light bullets were stolen. Just now, I detected the holy light bullet exploding here, which is why I immediately rushed here. There are no other bloods here, so I think the thief must have used it on Your Excellency..."

"It doesn't matter, it was just shaken a bit, nothing major." He originally wanted to keep this under wraps, but he didn't expect this vampire hunter to just come right out and say it. The vampire's back suddenly chilled, and he did not dare to look at his doctor's expression. He just casually waved his hand, turned around and was about to get into the car, but the other party persistently pulled on his arm, "Holy light bullets are a standard weapon for blood hunters, they are more lethal against purer bloodlines and take a long time to recover – please allow me to at least compensate you in some way, or my conscience will surely ache."

"......" It was no longer possible to hide anything. The vampire glanced sheepishly at his human, looking at the other man's overly calm expression, but his heart grew more and more apprehensive and he was close to scaring his heart into another heartbeat, "My dear, actually–"

"Don't you say anything yet – is it the effect of the burns, is there any use for the ointment for burns and scalds?" As soon as he had shoved his vampire into the car, Doctor Shang was clearly in his element and looked earnestly at the vampire hunter before him, "Can you be more specific about the holy light bullets? I need a little more information before I can determine a treatment plan."

"Okay – the main ingredients of the holy light bullets are compressed sunlight and atomised holy water, both of which cause a burning effect. But holy water is a mysterious liquid that has a natural restraint on the bloods, and so far there is no good cure, except to rely on the bloods' own power to dispel it and recover." Shocked by the human doctor's professional attitude, the vampire hunter nodded subconsciously, glanced at the vampire who was desperately shaking his head and waving his hands at him, and still subconsciously said the last sentence, "That means you have to find a way to feed him..."

The human doctor rubbed the corner of his forehead with a headache at the thought of the daunting task of feeding his vampire. A sudden glance at the handcuffs attached to the other man's waist brought a thought to mind and a tentative enquiry was made, "This has been bothering me for a long time – can I borrow your handcuffs for the night?"

"Naturally, if you are willing to accept it, I am willing to give it to you directly as one of the apologetic gifts." Zhuge Kaoyu answered cheerfully and handed over the handcuffs. Looking at the snow fox being carried by the elf at the side, his eyes suddenly lit up, "By the way, snow foxes thrive in the Arctic, and their cold energy is also very effective against such burns. If you take it back with you, it should be able to suppress the damage of the holy light bullets."

"As long as I don't undo the charm, there is no way for him to change back. I'll send Muxi back first, you guys go home first and I'll come back and join you soon." Rubbing the yoghurt elf's head soothingly, Yan Maifan handed over the snow fox and nodded towards Zhuge Kaoyu again, patting him on the back encouragingly, "As one of your next chief examiners, let me tell you the good news first – Muxi's speech spirit is improving rapidly. If this experiment is successful, he'll be able to sing rap backing vocals for you when you're in charge of singing in the next test."

"Good – many thanks, and I wish you all success with all my heart..." Before he could react to the huge amount of information in the other party's sentence. Zhuge Kaoyu subconsciously nodded, and after thinking about it for a long time, his expression suddenly firmed up as he held his jaw in contemplation.

Seeing the other party's expression of concentration, Doctor Shang's heart grew a little more uneasy. Worried that there was something else wrong with the holy light bullets, he tapped him on the shoulder and whispered a question, "What's on your mind, is there anything else that needs my attention?"

"No – His Highness Wei Long's power is very strong and a single holy light bullet is not going to cause serious problems." Zhuge Kaoyu shook his head, a thoughtful look of distress still in his eyes, before looking up again at the human doctor inquiringly, "So... for the next test, am I supposed to pick a Phoenix Legend song?"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: April 24, 2022

Edited: August 24, 2023