My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 58

Hot Then Cold Can Cause Stomach Pain

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The vampire raised an eyebrow, took a step back, and thoughtfully helped pull up the manhole cover: "Apostle, is this your new method of travel after the Queen's carriage?"

"Oh no, I was trying to get here by earthbound means, but I didn't know where I was going until I went down there... I didn't know that on the earthbound map, the sewers were the only place marked..." The dusty elf leapt out from the manhole with a faint white glow surrounding him, expelling all the mud and water from his body. He pulled out a small mirror and meticulously smoothed out his clothes and hair before nodding in satisfaction, "We were alerted to a large number of werewolves gathering here, so I volunteered to come over when I saw you two were here – you'll all be out of the way for a while, so I'll have to practise today!"

"Have you really converted to the ways of the Tao?" Looking at the yoghurt elf's decent Taoist robe, Shang Haojia circled around him curiously, taking the hem of his coat and shaking it: "It looks good, and it would look even better if you had a whisk."

"Right, right? I think so too!" At his friend's comment, An Muxi nodded vigorously in agreement, then sighed lightly in disappointment, "Unfortunately, my master said that you have to pass the Taoist Level 3 test to be issued a whisk. I have to be proficient in and use at least four incantations, and I have to make sure that I don't blow up the panel of judges on the next assessment..."

"... Looks like you've really improved, this one's all yours." The raging wolves had already heeded the call to encircle them. Doctor Shang nodded decisively and patted him on the shoulder again, "Don't be too brave, call for help if you can't beat them – and don't sing, remember?"

"I don't care about singing, it's not my dream anymore – just stay on the sidelines and watch me do my thing!" The elven Taoist priest waved his hand in a powerful manner, took out a yellow paper talisman written in cinnabar from his pocket, and held it between his two fingers in a decent manner, then took two steps forward with leisurely steps: "Hey – who are the monsters? Get out of here!"

"You're the monster, I'm a hybrid Arctic fox from Siberia – knowledge point! Memorise it properly for me!!!" Zhen Xi was doing an impassioned pre-battle speech with the wolves. When he heard his words he turned around violently with the little Taotie still on his head, who was nibbling on his ear, and waved his claws twice in an imposing manner, "Forget about the others for now, you all go together and catch this troublemaker for me!"

The werewolves howled to the heavens and they all pounced on the elf, who was standing still.

The elves have always been long-range magical chanting attackers, close range physical defence is almost considered extinct. Wei Long took a worried step forward and was hesitating whether to go up to help when his human raised his hand to stop him and gave a wink towards the street not far away.

Subconsciously, he looked over in the direction of the other party's gesture and saw Yan Maifan's figure quickly disappearing into the darkness. The vampire's eyes were slightly surprised and he couldn't help but shake his head and laugh lightly, "It seems that Mr. Yan really thinks highly of his disciple..."

"It should not be as simple as just thinking highly – the hem of Muxi's Taoist robe is embroidered with flying swallows carrying wood. I have always felt that Mr. Yan may not be pure to Muxi, it just depends on when Muxi will feel it." Doctor Shang, who saw through everything, smiled knowingly and turned his gaze back to the battle in front of him: "If I'm right, Mr. Yan will give Muxi at least three means to save his life, and even if all three are used up, there's still the master sitting behind him. We just need to keep an eye on him and give him a hand if there's any sudden situation."

The human doctor's deduction was obviously quite accurate. One by one, the werewolves had piled up into a mountain, while the elf who had been standing in the same place had long since disappeared.

The werewolf who was crushed at the bottom was already short of breath, stomping weakly and slapping the ground hard: "Come on, get up – I'm a little raccoon hybrid, you'll crush me like this!"

Hearing the cries for help from their companion below, the wolves scattered haphazardly. But inevitably, you stepped on my tail and I bit your ear, and the scene became a bit hectic and chaotic.

In the midst of the chaos, an explosive talisman fluttered over. A peculiar incantation rang out from nowhere, and only a roar could be heard before the wolves were blown to the ground with screams and shrieks.

In all the time that he had been leading his own wolf clan across the land, he had never encountered such an odd opponent. Zhen Xi was taken aback by the situation in front of him, instinctively looking around and shouting angrily from the sidelines: "What's the point of pretending to be a god, have the guts to fight me one-on-one – do you dare to come out?!"

"I will draw a knowledge point for you, this is not called pretending to be a god, it should be called the golden cicada, the sound of the east and the west." An Muxi sat on a tree, leisurely swinging his legs, and glanced at the Zhen family's second son in disbelief: "You're the one who brought people to fight in a group, and you're the one who told me to have the balls to fight alone – were you not the one who told everyone to come together just now?"

"Less, less nonsense!" A bit of shame flooded Zhen Xi's eyes as he pulled off the kitten that was biting his ear and shoved it into the arms of the old werewolf beside him, "Go get him an ice cream and get rid of him! Don't let it pester me!"

"Second Young Master, this is a Taotie, a box of ice cream is not enough for it to eat–" The old werewolf hurriedly held the little ancestor in his arms, and his face showed some difficulty. But he only had time to say half of it before he was interrupted impatiently by the second young master, and a credit card was shoved in his face along with it. "Okay, okay, take my card and use it, just give it as much as it wants and don't let me see it again – I don't believe it, how can a small cat like this eat that much?"

Seeing that the second young master was on the verge of a rampage, the old werewolf had no choice but to say yes, not daring to say anything more, and quickly walked away from the battle with the dazed little kitten in his arms.

After sympathetically watching the old werewolf leave, Doctor Shang patted He Jialun, who was choking on the world of wolf fur, and lowered his voice slightly: "Go follow him and keep an eye on him. The little one has just finished eating hot pot, and if he eats too much ice cream, he could easily have stomach cramps."

"Okay – I'll be on my way then." He had already been driven to near collapse by the endless sneezing and only stayed back because he didn't want to be called a deserter. The hybrid husky nodded as if he had been pardoned and turned around, lightly following the old werewolf's trembling steps.

Finally free of the burden on his head, the second young master of the Yan family, who was unaware of what he had done, laughed and sprang to his feet with the greatest of pleasure. Completely free from the confines of his human body, he transformed into a huge snow fox and plunged down towards the odd Taoist priest who was in his way.

After all, he was an elf who had never been trained in close combat. The moment he came straight down on him, he was already terrified and instinctively tried to call for help, but he found that his dry throat could not make any sound at all. The strong power fluctuations swept him up without mercy, and before he could get close enough, the harsh wind had already torn his Taoist robe into pieces.

A figure suddenly flashed overhead and the vampire stepped in just in time to block the hybrid snow fox's blow for him, allowing it to slam into his arm as he kicked the stunned elf out of the tree.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, and An Muxi was kicked out of the tree before he had time to react. He was about to hit the ground face first when he was suddenly slapped from behind and his body suddenly floated lightly, landing in a wobbly heap.

"Master... Master Yan!"

Subconsciously realising who helped, An Muxi hurriedly turned around and was slapped with a protective talisman on top of his head: "Watch carefully, you owe him a big favour this time."

The overpowering force of the punch broke the branch, but the vampire didn't look nervous at all. With one hand, he tugged at the snow fox's fluffy white fur and calmly rolled onto his back, sitting firmly on it, "Celestial Master, do me a favour."

"Well said." Yan Maifan recited an incantation in a low voice, and at some point, a talisman paper appeared in his hand and shot out towards the snow fox's forehead. Before the snow fox could react, his body suddenly shrank and ended up being just over half a metre long. Wei Long grabbed the back of his neck and held it securely in his hand.

Finding that the second young master had been caught, the leaderless pack of wolves instantly panicked. After glancing at each other, they all stepped back a little distance in a wary manner, and none of the wolves dared to pounce on them immediately.

"You bunch of cowards – why don't you come up and save me! Go back and write me a ten thousand word review, by hand, no copying off the ready-made ones on the internet!!!" The soft spot at the back of his neck was pinched, and Zhen Xi could not move his body. The strange charm had reduced his body to a smaller size, so he growled at his men with a little more panic in his eyes.

The opponents didn't look weak, especially the vampire who had managed to resist the leap of death of the second young master with one hand. Naturally, no werewolf dared to step forward, and they all just watched the situation cautiously.

There were murmurs among the wolves, and when the shrunken snow fox glared at them, the lead werewolf, also snow-white in colour, waved his hand. Without skipping a beat, he took two steps backwards and pushed the previously pinned down hybrid raccoon out of the way, "Second, Second Young Master – I'm a Samoyed hybrid, and although I look quite similar to you, I really have no fighting ability... Gan Cuinian, it's all up to you now!"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: April 17, 2022

Edited: August 18, 2023