My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 46

Gastrointestinal Tablets Can Be Chewed

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"No, no, no, wait a minute–" Looking at the egg that was about to break in his hand, Doctor Shang felt that his heart was about to break into pieces. He tried to press the egg back together, but before he could touch it, the eggshell in his hand was lifted off with a small snap.

Under the breathless gaze of everyone, a small orange kitten poked its head out and stood up, scratching the eggshell. 

The little orange cat seemed to be unafraid of life, blinking its eyes and glancing around, and crawled out of the eggshell with all four paws. It fell onto the human doctor's lap, and raised his head vigorously, "Mi!"

"I see, it turns out that the Taotie has been using the appearance of an orange cat to hide from the world..." With a complex mood, he looked at the little orange cat on his lap. Doctor Shang sighed and looked to the side at the innocent looking courier dragon, "I am a doctor – You deliberately sent it here, is it because it has some kind of disease, such as anorexia or something? You'd better answer..."

"How can that be? Every single dragon egg we send out is strictly quarantined, there is absolutely no problem!" The dragon straightened its neck proudly and replied loudly without thinking. It picked up the little orange cat with its claw, looked at it back and forth for a while, and the round eyes of the dragon suddenly showed some doubts, "Strange, this one does seem a bit wrong – It's like this, because Taotie look really strange, in order not to be thrown away by their parents when they are young, they usually mimic a small kitten, but I have not seen this colour before. Pay attention when feeding it, I heard something about orange cat-shaped Taoties likely suffering from bulimia..."

"... The Taotie race often suffers from bulimia?" Looking at the dragon whose conscience didn't even hurt, Doctor Shang's questioning almost carried a few painful implications. With a thoughtful wave of his hand, the vampire to the side summoned the golden exclamation marks left behind by the elves and pressed them into the air one by one in a cooperative manner.

"Look at you, still a doctor, how can you not understand such a little bit of logic – Since it is said to be sick, it is not like the average person. Since it is said to be bulimia, it means that one will eat more than ordinary people, and this is true for the Taotie race." The giant dragon stroked its non-existent jaw whiskers, and slowly shook his head, giving a serious education to the human doctor, "The Taotie family will generally be divided into three kinds – ordinary Taotie, elite Taotie, and overeating Taotie. The so-called elite Taotie, in addition to steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, and steamed deer tail, will have a full banquet of hard to eat dishes. Other than eating, they don't do anything else much. The so-called overeating Taotie will feed on whatever they are willing to eat, and their mouth will never stop. You not raising an elite Taotie can already be considered good. I have a buddy who accidentally gave birth to an elite, and now has been smashed into poverty by the child..."

"Okay, okay, don't talk about your buddy in vain first – get over here" Looking at the cute little palm-sized orange cat, the golden dragon scoffed. He interrupted the dragon's words, his eyes glazed and his tail smashed the ground twice with force, "I don't care about anything else – what did I tell you? Didn't I tell you it must be a kind that could dominate the entire district? You gave him such a small thing, do you want it to conquer the whole neighbourhood by being cute?"

"Your Highness Lin, don't be angry. You have already married out, so you don't know – we now have a new rule; everyone who signs with two dragons must be given one evil and one auspicious egg to help them balance their qi. We are really trying our best, Taotie are in high demand right now, if it wasn't for your request, I would have brought a poor..." The golden dragon's status was obviously not low. Even though he was reprimanded, the dragon's attitude instantly became respectful, as he lowered his head and slightly lowered his voice as well, "Qianqi have nothing better to do all day but to encourage people to fight and learn bad things. Taowu are too stupid to understand a word of human language. If you bring a Hundun out for a walk, people will think you're walking a pig. How about you tell me, which of the Four Evils should we give him? Besides, didn't we give it three days of food rations..."

"Three days?!" Looking at the small mountain of dragon milk powder, Doctor Shang felt as if he had received a second blow, and he lifted the other dragon egg up, "What about it – is this milk powder for both of them?"

"That's a Bi'an, it's born to eat only meat, not to drink something as pedestrian as milk powder." Knowing that this was an acquaintance of His Highness Lin, the giant dragon's attitude was quite patient, as it good-naturedly explained, then forcefully patted his chest, "Do not worry, Bi'an are serious auspicious beasts, absolutely first-class in avoiding disasters and eliminating disasters. They are also good-looking, with a small tiger-like appearance and a ton of energy!"

"This one – I guess you haven't predicted its bulimia. So does it mean that this pile of milk powder is actually only enough for the Taotie to eat for about 36 hours?" Doctor Shang's mind was clearly not on the matter of how cool the Bi'an would be, and he sighed lightly with concern. He picked up the little orange cat and gently patted its fluffy little head, "Calling it a good for nothing is just too cheesy and unpleasant – I've decided. You'll be called Jianwei Xiaoshi Pian from now on." (Angel: Jianwei Xiaoshi is the name of a brand of digestion agent tablets.)

"That is indeed a good name, dear. It's just a little long and a little awkward to say. Maybe you can give it a different nickname?" The vampire seemed interested in this little kitten, curiously reaching out to touch it, but the little kitten bared its teeth and its hackles rose. The vampire resentfully touched his nose and regretfully put his hand back.

Seeing that the Taotie and Wei Long were not warming up to each other, Shang Haojia held the paw of the small kitten and forcibly shook paws with the disliked vampire, "Its nickname will be Wei Yao, taking your surname, and the other with mine. We'll talk about the name later..."

"God – its paw is so soft..." Being hit by the little kitten's soft pads, the vampire pressed his chest and sighed, then stood up abruptly and aggressively hugged the daunting pile of milk powder. "My dear, please leave the job of feeding it to me, I will take good care of our son–"

"Father, that's not what you said to me before!" Stimulated by the stark contrast, Wayne Loki leapt up and protested angrily. When he met Wei Long's smiling but not smiling gaze, his voice suddenly weakened and he sat down with a huff before the other party could speak, "Sit down, sit down, sit down! You know how to make me sit down, if you have the ability to change it–"

"Stand up and go make some milk powder." The pureblood king coldly raised the corner of his lips and nodded in satisfaction as he watched Wayne Loki get up and walk towards him. Throwing the milk powder into his arms, he earnestly patted him on the shoulder, "You're the older brother, so you have to take care of your younger siblings, you have to know how to behave, okay? Say that you understand."

"I understand..." Unable to control himself, he conceded with two words. Wayne Loki, who was wronged, burst into tears and ran out the back door with his arms full of milk powder, "I am also a big brother at home, and my dad has never bullied me so much!"

"Unfortunately, in terms of a vampire's legal kinship, the biological fathers are ranked after the blood fathers – so you'll have to go by what I say in the future, and please give my regards and sincere apologies to old Mr. Ji." Looking at his cheap son who was hiding his face, the vampire replied with a smile and returned to the sofa. Looking at the other dragon egg with interest, there was a bit of eagerness in his expression, "My dear, can you feel when this one will hatch? I can't wait to greet its little pad..."

"... Did you originally have this kind of hobby?" Looking at the flickering love in the vampire's eyes, Doctor Shang's gaze moved and he came up with another ten or so treatment options as he calmly weighed the other small dragon egg in his hand, "This one will probably take a while, I don't feel any movement in it at all – But can we really have cats at home? I remember that Mr. He has severe pet allergies..."

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: January 22, 2022

Edited: August 17, 2023