My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 47

Beware of Choking When Breastfeeding Your Baby

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After a lot of fussing, the dragon finally finished handing over the eggs. With two 'two's on his forehead and a face full of blood, he returned to the dragon headquarters with positive feedback from the customer.

The little Taotie seemed to recognize the human doctor who smelled delicious as his father. Wagging its small tail, it twisted behind him and gripped his trouser legs, gently shaking it. While blinking his eyes, he tilted his head and begged for food to eat.

Although he knew that the little one's mouth was a bottomless pit, Doctor Shang's heart was still softened by the cuteness. Putting the unmoving Bi'an egg in his pocket, he leaned down and picked up the little kitten, gently nudging it on the nose, "You're hungry? Wait a minute, your big brother has gone to make you some milk powder–"

His words had not yet fallen when Wayne Loki, wearing a grey wolf apron, pushed open the back door, the iron spoon in his hand knocking hard twice on the door frame as he reluctantly snorted, "Second Brother Tao, come and drink the pot of milk!"

The little Taotie's nose twitched and his eyes lit up. He leapt down from Shang Haojia's arms, stepping on the air several times, and dove into the large pot of milk.

"This breathtaking basin..." When he saw the pool-sized basin of milk, Doctor Shang sighed in awe and turned to look at his loving vampire, "What was this basin originally used for? To bathe elephants?"

"No – at least in theory, it should not be." At the sound of his human's voice, his attention shifted from the kitten to the basin. The vampire held his jaw in thought for a moment, smiling as he looked at Wayne Loki, and a threatening glint of blood flashed through his inky pupils, "My stupid son – can you tell me where the Kun that was originally raised in this basin had disappeared to?" (Angel: A Kun is a legendary fish that can turn into a bird, similar to a Kunpeng.)

Although he was slightly stronger than the anorexia-afflicted pureblood king, Wayne Loki could barely resist in the face of the suppression of his bloodline. Instinctively shrinking his neck and taking a step back, he defiantly straightened his chest and bravely fought against the forces of justice, "It can drink the milk from the basin, but I have to be hungry?!"

Unfortunately, this brave and righteous stance only lasted for three seconds before Wayne Loki was completely softened under Wei Long's kind gaze. He lowered his head resentfully, pursed his lips, and shrank back, "I got greedier and greedier, then I tried to take a bite, and it suddenly turned into a big bird and flew away with a flutter...."

"I know I know – I've heard this story before!" As soon as good student Xian Bei heard this, his eyes abruptly lit up and he excitedly raised his tail to snatch the answer, "This story is called 'The Journey to Freedom' – the first line is 'There is a fish in the northern underworld, its name is Kun!'"

"Yes, yes, I remember that too, and then, 'The Kun is so big that it cannot be stewed in one pot!'" Xian Bao wasn't to be outdone, and nodded as he interjected, then pursed his mouth with greed, "If I could stew such a big pot of fish soup, how good it would be..."

"... I think we should ask if Taotie have the ability to secrete hormones that make those around them hungry too."  Looking at the circle of gods and demons who had clearly been taken out of the picture, Doctor Shang couldn't help but sigh lightly, raise his hand, and rub his temples, "If that's the case, I'll be even less likely to be able to afford it... But, that's good news for you, the child's father, do you feel that blood is a little more appetising now?"

"In all honesty, after seeing how fast the little one drinks milk, I've had no time to focus on my appetite..." Accepting this rather native Chinese style name well, the vampire blinked innocently and looked towards the already empty big iron basin. With a light leap, he scooped up the little Taotie, who had drained the basin of milk in one gulp and was trapped at the bottom of the basin, meowing anxiously and worriedly drying his wet, soft fur, "My dear, please forgive my hindsight. But it occurred to me – at the rate it's eating, I'm afraid our challenge will begin once it's weaned..."

Shang Haojia smiled bitterly and sighed lightly, and before he could reply, Wayne Loki on the side suddenly shouted in pain. He held up his phone and flung himself to the iron basin, "... Where are the fruits of my labour?! I wanted to take a picture and send it to my dad! I'm not even this diligent at home, I haven't even managed a drop of the blood my brother drinks – I'm simply more diligent than Aunt Susan who makes apple pie!"

"That's okay, you can continue to be diligent now – by the way, we generally don't speak so pretentiously in an accent now. You don't have to be too deliberate, or the image will look strange." After taking the little Taotie into his arms and feeling its belly, Doctor Shang sighed helplessly and patted his shoulder sympathetically when he felt that the soft little belly was only half full, "It probably needs two more pots, and the temperature should not be too hot. Remember to burp him after feeding so he doesn't choke on his milk, okay?"

"You've got to be kidding me! I'm a noble vampire gangster young master with a gang waiting for me to inherit – how can I be stuck here doing these stupid things?!" Under the pressure of the heavy workload, Wayne Loki's anger finally exploded completely. Only when he was about to risk his life against the oppression did the little Taotie suddenly step on his arm and jump on his shoulders, biting a mouthful of his head.

"What are you doing – Taotie, I'm telling you, this is your big brother's head! Hurry and let go of me! I'll give you milk powder!" Too scared to move, Wang Laoji's newly gathered momentum was abruptly deflated. Staying still until the human doctor took the cat off, he snorted angrily, grabbed two bags of milk powder, and ran into the backyard like the wind.

The little Taotie plopped down in Shang Haojia's arms and rubbed his arm petulantly, proudly showing off his glorious battle results to his dad.

Although his heart was already aching in pain, the human doctor still couldn't help but laugh and gently pat the little guy's head, "Good job, I'll leave the job of disciplining your big brother to you from now on. If he still dares still disobey, bite him again..."

It took all night to feed the little one until he was more than half full. Wayne Loki was so tired that he collapsed on the floor, sprawled out in a big mess, and almost went into a dormant state.

The human doctor was gently persuaded by the vampire to go back to his bedroom to rest, but the little Taotie followed him back. He jumped on the bed, made an indent in the pillow, plopped down on the pillow of his human father, and started snoring comfortably in no time.

As usual, vampires do not have the habit of resting at night. Doctor Shang opened his eyes at six o'clock in the morning and put on his clothes before going to wash up, but he suddenly felt his pant leg being tugged by something, "No, I can't take you to work with me. There will be trouble if you get hungry out there and eat the wrong thing."

Bending down to pick up the little guy, Shang Haojia wiped its face and gently rubbed its head, helplessly smiling and shaking his head, "Be obedient – stay at home with your big brother to hatch your brother, okay?"

"Me–ow!" Hearing that he was going to hatch his younger brother, the originally listless little kitten suddenly perked up. Nodding vigorously, he leapt up onto the small table where the Bi'an egg was placed, and in a serious manner, he pulled the dragon egg into his arms.

After patting the little one's head encouragingly, Shang Haojia put the little kitten and the dragon egg into a basket and carried them downstairs, handing them over to Wayne Loki, who had almost tamed them, then took the water handed over by the werewolf butler to rinse his mouth, "Where did Mr. Wei run off to again? Was he gone all night?"

"He said there was something he had to check out. He told me to tell you not to wait for him for breakfast, I'll take you directly to the hospital later and he'll pick you up from work in the evening." He Jialun nodded, put the breakfast he was carrying on the table, and suddenly changed his expression to one of interest, mysteriously lowering his voice and coming over, "Doctor Shang, Doctor Shang, I'm not saying that you two are not making great progress – but are you going to try teaching him to sleep at night next, adding a little more fun for the two of you??"

"Makes sense, he should indeed be taught to sleep at night... What kind of fun are you talking about?" Looking at the hybrid husky's meaningful gaze, Shang Haojia blinked in confusion and was about to ask for more details when his phone suddenly vibrated relentlessly.

The screen showed an unfamiliar number. Although the owner of the number was not yet known, the human doctor was instinctively wary after the recent string of bizarre encounters. Taking a bite of his sandwich, he cautiously pressed the answer button, "Hello, who is it?"

The phone clattered for a while before a very non-standard Mandarin voice came through, "Lei Hou, I am from the triad, and my son is in your hands now – Immediately prepare a ransom of three thousand millilitres of plasma, and put it in the D section of the hospital parking lot. No delay, do you hear me?"

"Okay, thank you for calling specially to inform us that your son is in our hands..." He has received many fraudulent phone calls, mostly about his own son being kidnapped, but this is the first time he has seen someone whose son was kidnapped take the initiative to call the kidnapper. Doctor Shang raised an eyebrow, and for a moment was actually unsure how to respond to this rather unique opening from the other side, "Please allow me to ask one more question, since we have your son in our hands – on what logic are you asking us for ransom?"

"My logic is simple, stupid human." The other end of the phone seemed extremely arrogant, and with a dismissive response, switched back to the fluent universal language. "– If you don't pay the ransom, I don't want this son."

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: January 28, 2022

Edited: August 18, 2023