My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 40

Allergic Swelling May Subside 

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"I don't want him – what do I need a ball for? We dragons are born to hate balls." With a disdainful snort, the golden dragon turned its head away proudly, clearly not buying the elf's argument in the slightest, "We Chinese dragons have known for generations – that when the last meat ball in recorded history was cut open, inside was a little kid in an apron, stepping on two wheels of fire, and who loved to smash the Dragon King's palace and pull the dragon's tendons for fun. We've been around for generations, and our survival motto is to cherish life and stay away from meat balls..."

"..." Turning his head to look at the blood-sucking ball who was cosplaying as Nezha, the elf who had lost his last hope finally gave up his sanity completely. With hot tears in his eyes, he threw himself in front of the vampire, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him desperately, "Hurry up and bring your Chips out, tell him to hurry up and cure this ball quickly aaaaahhhh!!!"

"There, there, Your Excellency the Apostle – your voice has been transformed into a substantial exclamation point." Caught off guard by the sound waves assaulting his eardrums, the ultra-sensitive vampire couldn't help but rub his ears and remove the exclamation points floating in mid-air one by one, "My beloved Apostle, please forgive me for being equally unable to meet your request. He is a rebel of the blood family and has some personal vendetta against me, so until I have cleared things up with him, forgive me for not being able to hand him over to anyone–"

"Are you the legendary elf who sings out of tune?" The refusal was not finished when an unfamiliar voice suddenly came.

The crowd looked up and saw a middle-aged man in a suit standing by the handrail on the first floor, his face framed by a pair of expensive gold-rimmed glasses. He had an elite air that was out of place, and even his hair was perfectly combed, "I've always heard that the An family has an elf who can't even sing well. Anyone who can survive his singing is a great demon."

"Nonsense! Chips went to karaoke with me so many times and he's survived until now!" Feeling another violent blow to his heart, An Muxi snapped angrily. After proudly citing a strong counter-example, he was shoved back into the sofa by the half-blood husky and given a sympathetic hug, "Lord Elf, who gave you the illusion that Doctor Shang is not on the same level as a great demon?"

"He– I–" The desperate elf was momentarily speechless. Blinking helplessly, he looked around at the crowd of non-human creatures who were nodding their heads with deep emotions, and sat back resentfully, "Well, the structure of his brain is probably a little different from normal people..."

"We can discuss Doctor Shang's matter more specifically later, I'm here to show you another clear path." The man pushed his glasses up and nodded elegantly, looking down at the young elf below, "First of all, please allow me to introduce myself, my name is Yan Maifan. I am a celestial master currently serving in the Traditional Culture Bureau of the Chinese branch of the Special Department – Have you ever heard of Chinese incantations? "

"Chinese incantations..." The elf blinked blankly and shook his head subconsciously, "Is this the one – oh ma li ma li hong?"

"That is the six-character mantra of the Buddhists. The correct pronunciation is 'om mani padme hum' and it is currently classified under the Sanskrit system. The requirements for the use of Buddhist mantras are relatively strict; the user must be vegetarian, bald, and pious. Based on the aroma of cassoulet emanating from the takeaway you're holding, I don't think you would be able to meet this requirement." Yan Maifan lifted his glasses calmly and took a yellow piece of talisman paper from his suit pocket, folding it twice and holding it between his fingers. With a flick towards him, the piece of talisman paper flew straight towards the elf, "This is an offensive incantation. You should memorise it as it is written and you can try the effect several times where no one is around. According to your abilities and talents, when you are not limited by your singing ability, you should be able to use the incantation to a considerable extent."

"Five thunder fighters, train generals, soaring to the ground, driving thunder and running through the clouds, fighting tens of thousands..." After struggling to read the first half of the lines, the elf, who had never made it past ninety points on a language test, clutched his head in pain and fell backwards into the sofa breathlessly, "It's because of these horrible ancient texts that I firmly chose science..." (Angel: This is a Taoist incantation called 'hurried like a law')

"If you can pass level three of vocal music with flying colours, your family will still be proud of you even if you don't choose anything – I'm just giving you a new direction, it's up to you to decide whether you want to try or not." The elite celestial master responded in an unhurried, faint voice. With a subdued bow towards him and without waiting for a response, he turned and paced back to his room.

"So cool... I've decided, I want to learn Chinese incantations, I want to be a celestial master too!" Suddenly inspired by endless motivation, An Muxi fiercely clutched his chest, and a number of small golden stars emerged in clusters from his eyes.

The two little dragons rose up in the air with a cheer and scrambled after those little stars. Just as they were about to pounce on them and swallow them in one gulp, they were snatched by the fire dragon, "No way, no way, no more randomly eating – what if you two are also affected to the point of being out of tune and your dragon chant won't be up to standard in the future..."

"So what if I'm off-key, it doesn't matter – I've found a new way out, I'm going to be the king of rap in the elven world!" It was as if he had already seen himself learning the Chinese incantation and successfully subduing demons and killing them all. The elf laughed out loud three times in triumph, put the talisman paper into his pocket, and gave a decent bow towards the various races in the room, "Everyone, wait for the good news of my victory!"

"That's really – tens of thousands..." Dumbfounded at the sour elf who threw his head back and laughed out the door, He Jialun couldn't help but shake his head resentfully and sit down on the sofa, poking the grunting blood-sucking ball twice in the process, "Great Master Yan's level of brainwashing is really getting better and better... What do you think the effect of an elf shouting 'hurried like a law' during a match would be?"

"That scene must be amazing – and we'll just have to pray to God for forgiveness on his behalf." The vampire sighed with concern for the country and the people, and drew a cross across his chest in a serious manner.

Stunned at his gesture, the werewolf blinked unbelievably and waved his hand in front of him, "Maybe I'm misremembering... but aren't you a race abandoned by God?"

"That's right, so I was just praying casually. God probably wouldn't have heard it anyway." Wei Long nodded frankly and replied matter-of-factly before picking up the remaining few takeaways and heading for the stairs, "I'm going to bring Doctor Shang dinner – Please keep an eye on this ball for me, I have some questions to personally ask him later."

As the blood gang's noble young master, he was first cursed with a mouth full of teeth that fell out, and then swelled into a ball because he accidentally bit a half-blood chimaera. After being neglected for so long and watching his duck-blood vermicelli soup being privatised as well, Wayne Loki's anger finally exploded completely. With a slurred roar, he leapt off the sofa and bounced in Wei Long's direction, "Mother fu– that's my duck blood vermicelli soup!"

"How about it, want another bite?"

His thunderous momentum came to an abrupt halt when he saw the person in front of him. The blood-sucking ball twirled twice in the air and then plunged onto the sofa at a faster speed than before, "Damned human – get away from me! Get away from me and don't touch me!"

Having been successfully provoked once more into showing his dignity as food, the human doctor stood firmly holding onto the stair railing with a piece of clothing draped over his shoulders. He stood in front of the vampire, nodding solemnly, "I knew that allergies could trigger edema, but I didn't think – that vampires could swell up so much..."

The blood in Wei Long's eyes gradually receded. Looking at the human doctor who had finally put his bold idea into practice, there was a slightly helpless smile in his eyes. The arm that was protecting him was retracted without a trace and it was wrapped around the back of his doctor's waist as he assisted him in walking slowly down the stairs, "My dear, what brings you out all of a sudden – is there something wrong?"

"I drank too much water and came out to use the bathroom. When I heard Muxi's deranged laughter, I watched the situation for a little while – I've never seen that Mr. Yan before, he looks very respectable. Does he stay here regularly?" Although he didn't feel much worse for wear, when he got out of bed and walked to the stairway, the familiar dizziness found him again. Without any further bravado, Shang Haojia couldn't help but ask curiously as he was half-assisted, half-carried down the stairs by the vampire.

"In fact, he was actually the Special Agent Commissioner sent by the Special Branch to secretly supervise me. It's just that he's always been fascinated with spell theory, so he revealed himself to me early on and has been continuing his research here." He helped the human to sit down on the sofa. Wei Long thoughtfully poured him a cup of tea, and opened and set up the cassoulet and rice he had been longing for, "Actually, you two are not complete strangers – the pie that we served to you before was made with his help."

"Right, I remember – that pie tasted pretty good." Speaking of food, the memory immediately became much clearer. Shang Haojia nodded, broke apart his chopsticks and took a piece of potato, then smiled and knocked the grunting blood-sucking ball to the side, "That's about right. It won't take long for the allergic reaction to go away on its own, you don't want to be struck dumb by that..."

"You guys actually used a trap, that's too much!" The blood-sucking ball bounced twice in anger, clearly not listening to a single word. He simply took the mixed-blood succubus's opportunistic appearance as a premeditated plan by the other side, and looked around at the group of scheming forces with righteous indignation, "I'm so angry – so very angry!"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: December 5, 2021

Edited: August 11, 2023