My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 38

Adrenaline Causes Blushing

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"You can't even do that? Just poke him and see if you can make a dent... Yes, and then look for a rash – No need to check for breathing, what do you think the point is in checking? And see if he's vomiting. If he's vomiting blood, remember to clean it up before you bring him here..." It took a lot of talking and another full glass of lightly salted water before the top student, Shang Haojia, finally managed to guide his former teaching assistant through the examination with difficulty.

Having finally understood the condition of the sick vampire, Doctor Shang took the last sip of water and nodded reassuringly, "Okay, it's probably just a typical reaction to allergies. Don't move him, send him over here first, I still need to refer to a healthy vampire's body for comparison – Don't poke him again, you hear me?"

"How do you know I'm still poking him?" With a resentful retraction, Doctor Elf, who had been lectured by the doctor, muttered in displeasure and sighed lightly in a serious manner, "Chips, I think your definition of healthy has gotten looser and looser since you've been hanging out with them – do you really think a hemophobic vampire is healthy? If you ask me, that's a terminal illness if you take it seriously..."

"In my opinion, an elf who sings off-key is more hopeless than a hemophobic vampire – after all, hemophobia is perfectly curable in principle. But singing out of tune is something that the medical profession hasn't seemed to have made much progress with in all these years." Although he had said much the same thing himself, he certainly couldn't allow his vampire to be mocked by others. Doctor Shang cruelly snapped and unsurprisingly nodded in satisfaction when he heard a cry come out of the phone, "Alright, cut the crap – remember to bring me a cassoulet with rice, I'm starving."

After several days of continuous blows, An Muxi's resistance to stress has obviously improved a lot, and after howling a few times he immediately recovered his mood and agreed with enthusiasm, "Fine, cassoulet with rice, right? I'll have one myself then..."

After solving the problem of his own rations, Doctor Shang finally let go of one of the things on his mind. He was about to get out of bed and change his clothes when he heard a sudden grunting sound on the phone, followed by the sound of the elf's mighty scolding.

Unable to think of anyone else at his level that the other could reprimand, Shang Haojia couldn't help but wonder, when he heard the excited voice of the elf who had finally raised his eyebrows, "Who's that? Aren't you two the only ones there?"

"It's just the two of us – I'm scolding that bloodsucking ball! He's swollen into a ball and he still dares to ask me for some duck blood vermicelli soup and mao xue wang, how spoiled is he?! I took him right past the shop entrance without stopping..." (Angel: Mao xue yang is a specialty of Chongqing, Sichuan, ​​made of duck blood curd, tripe, chicken gizzard and other organ parts simmered in a broth that is made of peppercorn and chillies.)

Originally still feeling rather cheerful from being defended by his doctor, the vampire couldn't be happy for long before he keenly heard two words that struck him as chilling. Subconsciously sitting up straighter, he looked warily at the human doctor who seemed suddenly stimulated. 

"You didn't buy it?" He was pleasantly surprised by the discovery of a new treatment method when he suddenly heard the elf's last words. Doctor Shang raised his eyebrows slightly and his tone took on a slightly unkind tone, "Aren't you taking a refresher course in doctor-patient communication, haven't you learnt to treat patients humanely and try to meet their needs?"

"No, I – he doesn't even have a single tooth, he couldn't eat it even if he bought it..." He was startled by the sudden serious tone of his best friend's voice. Always aware of the other party's obsessive strictness in the profession, the PhD candidate who has not studied properly in the past few years felt a bit of weakness, and his voice unconsciously dropped, "Why are you being mean to me, I'll just buy it for him..."

"Don't give him any after you buy it. He can't eat in his current condition, so just let him smell it and soothe his wounded heart first." The first step of the plan went smoothly, and Doctor Shang nodded in satisfaction, gave another medical order, and hung up the phone. With the doctor's exclusive kind smile, he looked over at the vampire who was trying to sit like a statue, "Darling, do you want to try it and see – neither food has the taste or shape of blood anymore. If you can stomach it, it's much better than eating nothing, right?"

"I–" The polite refusal was on the verge of being cut off by the sudden 'darling' from his doctor. The vampire blinked with tears in his eyes and finally decided to sacrifice himself for love, nodding sadly, "I think so too. You're right, my dear, and I'm more than willing to give it a try..."

"Very well, what a good patient who saves the doctor's heart." Doctor Shang patted his patient's shoulder in relief and used the momentum to brace himself to stand up before another wave of unsurprising dizziness flooded through him. His eyes suddenly went black for a moment, and when he recovered, he was already securely in the vampire's arms.

"My dear, you do need to rest – it's also stated in your medical orders that you need to perform bed rest and then take blood-supplementing food." Helping the human in his arms to slowly sit back on the bed, the vampire half-crouched in front of him and gently wiped the cold sweat seeping from his forehead, "Vampire healing is not as complicated as it is for humans, and when he is brought here, feeding him a mouthful of my blood will be enough. You might as well lie down and sleep for a while, no need to worry too much about him–"

"I'm not worried about him, it's because I'm afraid that Muxi will see what's wrong. The two of us have always been close, and if he knew that that unlucky fellow had even bitten me, he probably wouldn't be as nice as he is now." Half-swept up in the vampire's arms, Shang Haojia smiled helplessly and relaxed against him in response, "He's with the Special Department after all, so it would be a problem if he made a scene and ended up dragging you down with him. I just had a passing dizzy spell, I know it in my own heart, it doesn't matter."

"I'm sure Apostle Muxi is a gentleman who is willing to be reasonable – and even if he isn't, I'll find a way to convince him to be reasonable. I'll take care of this matter, dear, all you have to do is rest and get well as soon as possible..." Looking at the human doctor's still pale lips, the vampire's eyes took on a deep, soft ache. Suddenly, he closed one hand around the back of his shoulder and leaned down to kiss him gently.

It was the first time he had been kissed while fully awake. Shang Haojia blinked blankly as he felt the slightly cool touch on his lips. As if he was suddenly awakened by something, he shivered subconsciously. The colour of blood spread from his cheeks to behind his ears with lightning speed, and his neck followed suit with a speed that was visible to the naked eye.

"... My dear, you seem ripe." Naturally the English vampire, who revered elegance, did not go in for a hot French kiss, and the kiss was only a shallow touch. He straightened up, only to find that the entirety of his human had turned red, so he couldn't resist poking his cheek twice gently, "I used to have an old lobster friend who suddenly turned red one day, supposedly because he had ripened..."

"That's because of the shrimp's original red pigment – never mind, that's not important. Give my regards to your lobster friend, after all it's one of the few ingredients that both Chinese and British people love equally..." Because of the shock, his thoughts were too scattered, so the doctor had to turn his brain upside down to answer. He couldn't help but give a low cough to force his disconnected thoughts back in line, "No, the lobster isn't important now – Why did you suddenly kiss me like that without even asking?"

"If I'm honest, it's actually because – this scene has been rehearsed in my mind thousands of times since the day we met." Although he had acted rather proactively when he kissed him, once he had slowed down, the vampire's expression took on a bit of a nervous look. Coughing softly, he raised a hand to rub his nose, but still met his gaze without dodging it, "My dear, in my opinion, you are not only very delicious, but you possess an unparalleled charm. Even in your white coat, with your whole being reeking of medicine and sterile water, you still make it hard for me to stop being attracted to you. I've been looking forward to this moment since we first met..."

"Okay, okay, keep talking and I'll really become ripe." Shang Haojia was unable to resist interrupting the vampire's touching confession any longer. Feeling that the blood in his face would probably not fade for quite some time, the majestic human doctor couldn't help but let out a long sigh and fell headlong onto the bed, clutching his pillow, "No, I won't be able to go out and meet people like this..."

"That's just fine, dear – I was thinking you should rest in bed, and it's sufficient to leave those two to me." This time, the vampire's reaction was obviously extremely quick, and he responded kindly and thoughtfully covered him with a blanket. Shang Haojia couldn't laugh or cry. He propped himself up and was about to speak when there was a sudden, sharp knock at the door.

The door rattled three times, and before the person inside could answer, the tall figure of the werewolf came crashing in headfirst, "Outside – there's a carriage flying in the sky outside!"

He had long been aware of the abnormalities of this world. As a human who had lived in a scientific system for the previous twenty or so years, Shang Haojia was momentarily at a loss as to how he should react and subconsciously looked at the vampire on the side, "Do I need to politely express my surprise?"

"No no – this is quite an unusual occurrence, the vehicles that travel in the sky are painted with invisible paint specifically made for humans, that way they won't make the news." Not surprised by the visitor's arrival, the vampire stopped jostling with his human. With a light smile in reply, he looked over at his werewolf companion who was in front of him and gave a slight shake of his head with some disapproval, "Jialun, you are a hybrid werewolf living in modern times. Although you are part husky, don't let that make you relax your expectations. It's just a carriage flying in the sky, is there anything that warrants you losing your cool like that?"

"Is it even necessary to ask – of course it's a carriage!" Not yet fully recovered from the side effects of his brief wolfish state, He Jialun rubbed the tip of his nose and sneezed hard again, "It's the 21st century, who would sit so stupidly in a gold carriage that resembles that of the queen?"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: November 2, 2021

Edited: August 11, 2023