My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 30

Lung Capacity Should be Exercised Regularly

---

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry – my dear friend, I have misunderstood the whole thing..." Wei Long bowed helplessly and reached his hand out towards Shang Haojia, who was sitting on the ground, but he was so flustered that he once again failed to grasp the force, and pulled the human on the ground up into the air.

Before Shang Haojia could react, he felt an almost brutal force on his arm. He stumbled two steps forward and fell into the other man's arms.

Unlike every hug that used the excuse of being in a hurry, this time, the human doctor fell solidly onto the vampire's chest. The sweet scent of blood mixed with the faint smell of Lysol filled the vampire's nose. The human in his arms was toned and healthy, blood was rushing through his carotid arteries, and the vampire's eyes, stimulated by instinct, finally glowed a faint colour of blood.

Although the situation had taken a turn for the worse, Doctor Shang was clearly used to dealing with all kinds of unexpected situations. Sensing the change in the strength of the vampire's embrace, he gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder and relaxed on top of him, offering to expose the side of his neck, "Don't be afraid, just take a bite, I believe you can do it!"

The vampire's pupils grew bloodier under the influence of blood, and his embrace tightened unconsciously. His two sharp canine teeth suddenly lengthened, but before they could bite through the skin of the human neck, he suddenly whimpered, let go of the embrace and took two steps back, hastily raising his hand to cover his mouth.

"I'd be really embarrassed if you threw up at a time like this, either as food or as your boyfriend..." Stumbling to a standing position as he was pushed away. Doctor Shang rubbed his temples with a headache and looked over at the vampire with his eyes tightly closed. Helplessly sighing softly, he held his arm with concern, "How – can you want to get better if you can't even handle this?"

"No, I – I'm not very adept at the process of growing out my canine teeth yet..." The vampire waved his hand with difficulty and responded vaguely before hastily turning his head sideways and spitting out a mouthful of blood in a wretched manner.

The experienced Doctor Shang was frozen in place for three seconds before he realised that the vampire in front of him hadn't had time to suck the blood of others, but had accidentally bitten his own lip. Laughing until he cried, he pulled him down on the sofa and placed another cup of tea in his hand, "It's okay, don't be too eager to open your eyes. Rinse your mouth first, and then open them when I say it's okay."

"I'm really sorry, my dear friend, for making you laugh..." Wei Long gave a bitter smile in a restrained manner and took the teacup to rinse his mouth. Doctor Shang skillfully brought an empty plate to his lips while gently patting his back, "It's alright, don't take it personally – Well, there's almost no blood left, you can open your eyes."

At his command, the vampire's eyes opened obediently. The original blood colour had faded away and they returned to their original midnight ink colour. 

Putting the plate aside and looking at the other sofa far away by the fireplace, Shang Haojia simply turned sideways and sat on the arm of the sofa where the vampire was, taking him by the shoulder and patting him, "My dear friend, is it true that you have never sucked blood before – how can you be so unskilled?"

"Actually, due to some not-so-fond memories of being force-fed blood as a child, I am subjectively repulsed by the idea of feeding on blood." The vampire smiled helplessly, and with a slight wave of his hand, the slightly chaotic scene was restored in the blink of an eye, even the couch moved its bulky body back to its original position, "Although I am theoretically able to suck blood and would be similarly tempted by the sweet scent of blood, if I did drink blood, it would make me feel very nervous..."

"This largely belongs to the aftermath of psychological trauma. The treatment is actually similar to Xian Bei's fear of heights, so let's take our time, it can always be cured." Confirming that the vampire could in theory suck blood, Doctor Shang nodded with certainty. Again, he couldn't resist leaning over slightly and looking sideways at the vampire who hadn't quite gotten over his embarrassment, "So – what exactly did you misunderstand just now?"

"..." Meeting the human doctor's curious gaze, the vampire refused to cooperate and shut his mouth tightly, blinking resentfully. ‘The Vampire's Guide to Love’, this kind of stuff is, indeed, all a lie!

"Alright, alright, I won't ask – anyway, I can sort of see that coaxing you to drink a mouthful of blood would probably be no less difficult than coaxing a patient to drink medicine." Taking the vampire's silence as a silent rebellion, Doctor Shang patted him generously on the shoulder and sat down on the sofa that had easily moved back into place, "Let's try – well, let's try two or three treatments first. What time is it? I've basically lost my biological clock over the last few days..."

"Two or three more treatments?" Despite having fondly referred to the other man as his doctor, hearing that he was really going to be treated as a patient suddenly made the vampire feel like the future was suddenly bright and was almost as desperate as if he had been showered with sunshine, "It's about one in the morning, we returned between seven and eight in the evening. My dear friend, you've probably been resting for three to four hours..."

"I can't believe I slept for so long, no wonder I don't feel tired at all." Sensing the vampire patient's low mood, Doctor Shang nodded and then thoughtfully pulled away, "That said, I don't quite understand. How much does the strength of a malnourished vampire like you who hasn't been eating properly suffer – If there was a ranking, where would you most likely rank?"

"We do have an accurate ranking, in fact, this ranking is accurate to the point. The test was just about a month ago and was hosted by the Council of Elders, so it is fairly current and accurate, and all creatures with bloodline blood are required to take it. The results of the test are also backed up at the Special Department, and by my authority, I should be entitled to access them." The vampire shot up and sat up straight, replying seriously, but then a slightly helpless smile suddenly appeared in his eyes and he shook his head gently with regret, "But – as far as I know – my name wasn't at the top of that ranking, only barely in the upper middle. That's because the fitness side of that test consisted of four major categories: height and weight, pull-ups, high and long jump, and lunges..."

"..." After a moment of heartfelt silence, looking at the vampire who had also been poisoned by the exam system, Doctor Shang patted him on the shoulder with deep sympathy, "My dear friend, to me, you seem to be very well proportioned and very capable of jumping long and high, so which one did you fail?"

"Unlike humans, the weight of the blood race can be controlled by one's strength, so as long as the strength is greater, the amount of weight one can make themselves gain is correspondingly greater. In this category, as the top thirty all crushed the scale, the top thirty all received full marks and I had the honour of occupying a spot among them." Meeting the human doctor's gaze that seemed to be filled with admiration and shock, the vampire's originally low mood was finally lifted a little and he sat upright and seriously continued to explain each category, "As for the high and long jump category, I was fortunate enough to come second, apart from a flea spirit who had become an immortal because he had sucked vampire blood, because the flying races were banned from using their gliding talents. The pull-ups required us to pull a 10,000 ton ship with our bare hands and I was a little weaker in terms of strength and only managed to tow the ship about 50 nautical miles. Although I ranked in the top ten among the blood races, there were a number of extremely strong mixed races who were too good in this category, so I only came in about fiftieth place."

"So the problem lies in lung capacity..." Doctor Shang nodded, holding his jaw to analyse precisely, but he suddenly sensed that something was wrong, "No, you blood race neither breathe nor have a heartbeat, what's the point of having lung capacity – do you still need to breathe?"

"After all, our lungs still retain their original function, and we are able to deliberately keep breathing if we need to. But our test of lung capacity is not so much related to breathing as it is to eating – Because a vigorous appetite often symbolises a vampire's enhanced potential, there was once a vampire who drained a whale during his ascension and is now one of the youngest members of the Elders. This was the fundamental reason I was banished from the family in the first place; the Elders always firmly believed that a vampire who did not suck blood would never have power to spare, even if he could survive." To back up his words, the vampire's chest actually began to rise and fall as he spoke. He took a couple of meticulous breaths before relaxing back into the couch behind him, smiling and shaking his head, "As for the test at the time – to be honest, I didn't even get to take that test. This was because they told me that the test was based on being able to suck a few cows dry in one breath..."

"But you're still not below the strength of most vampires, which shows how strong your talent truly is." A genuine word of praise for the vampire. Seeing the vague blood colour that represented delight flash in those inky eyes, Doctor Shang nodded with a kind smile in return, and the conversation then suddenly changed, "I still believe, though, that if you can get over this, you can definitely take your strength up several more levels – don't you?"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Previous Chapter | TOC | Next Chapter

Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: September 13, 2021

Edited: August 3, 2023