Wilderness Vegetation Chapter 45

Chapter 45

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When Xu Yan returned to the venue, the party was nearing its end, and everyone was on stage taking group photos. He stood next to Lu Sen, who whispered, "Let's go out for a late-night snack in two hours."

"By then, it will be early morning," Xu Yan said. "Please, let me get some proper sleep."

Lu Sen looked straight ahead and smiled slightly. "Your idol will be there, I managed to arrange it."

Xu Yan: "No problem, I'll be waiting at your door right on time."

His idol was a master photographer from the United States, someone Xu Yan had admired since university. During his years abroad, Xu Yan had the chance to meet him a few times, but each encounter was brief, lacking opportunities for meaningful interaction.

"He just arrived in Beijing yesterday, hasn't adjusted to the time difference yet, and can't sleep at night. It's practically a divine arrangement," Lu Sen said.

Xu Yan nodded excitedly.

When the party ended, Xu Yan was about to slip away when Yu Xue grabbed him. "Let's go for a drink!"

"No, I'm too tired today," Xu Yan said, having no interest in drinking. "Let me get some rest. I've been feeling chest tightness and shortness of breath lately, my body can't take it."

Yu Xue looked at him suspiciously, but just then someone came over to greet her, and Xu Yan took the opportunity to slip away.

He returned to his room, took a shower, and lay on the bed. He fell asleep with a smile of anticipation on his face. However, after just over an hour, his phone rang urgently. Xu Yan picked it up to see a distress call from Yu Xue's assistant, saying that Yu Xue had drunk too much.

Xu Yan hung up and went downstairs. He arrived at the car at the same time as Yu Xue's manager, Sister Yun, who lamented quietly, "Little ancestor!"

The car was parked at the VIP entrance to avoid being photographed. Xu Yan carried Yu Xue in his arms. "Let's take her to my room first. There are too many artists and teams on your floor, it wouldn't be good to run into anyone, and the paparazzi are watching closely."

"Can you stop causing me trouble, my lady?" Sister Yun said, exasperated. "One day, you're going to give me a heart attack."

Xu Yan wanted to laugh, thinking that without causing trouble, Yu Xue wouldn't be herself. Even when she was a nobody, she loved to drink all night. After becoming famous, she still kept her free-spirited ways. Some people liked her for it, while others didn't, which was quite normal.

Xu Yan and Yu Xue were known to be close in the industry. During the years Xu Yan was abroad, focusing mainly on landscape photography, he rarely returned to China for events and wasn't very well-known to the public. It was Yu Xue who, despite having many domestic photographers at her disposal, specifically flew to France to have him take her photos. Every time her team posted related photos on Weibo, they would tag Xu Yan without fail, building up his exposure and business opportunities – If Xu Yan's work laid the foundation for his standing in the photography world, Lu Sen was the mentor who helped him step into the fashion industry, and Yu Xue was the generous friend who brought him resources from the entertainment world.

She was like a top fan who lavishly spent money on live streams, with immediate and visible results.

When they got off the elevator, Xu Yan carried Yu Xue to his room. For some reason, she started singing loudly. Her assistant hurriedly covered her mouth, but they still made some noise. As they reached the door, they heard a click, and the door to the room opposite Xu Yan's opened.

Sister Yun and the assistant both looked alarmed, but Xu Yan glanced at Shen Zhi and reassured them, "It's okay, we know each other."

Yu Xue stopped singing and stared at Shen Zhi. His face was indeed memorable, and even though she was quite drunk, she quickly recalled the man who had waited outside Xu Yan's door all night three years ago in that old neighbourhood.

"Hey, isn't that..."

Before she could say anything inappropriate, Xu Yan carried her into the room.

After settling her on the bed, Xu Yan's phone rang again. It was a call from the editor-in-chief. He asked the others to watch over Yu Xue and went to the living room to answer the call. It wasn't a big deal, just a lost compressed file. Xu Yan found it on his computer and sent it over.

The doorbell rang. Xu Yan checked the peephole and then opened the door.

"Do you need some hangover medicine?" Shen Zhi asked. "It will make her feel better."

"Okay," Xu Yan said. "Thank you."

Shen Zhi nodded and went back to his room to get the medicine. Xu Yan left the door slightly ajar. The assistant went to the bathroom to get a warm towel, and Sister Yun was on the phone. Xu Yan sat by the bed and took a tissue to wipe Yu Xue's tears. As soon as he leaned over, she grabbed him by the neck.

"That person just now... what's your relationship with him? I saw him at your door before."

Even when drunk, she couldn't stop gossiping. Xu Yan didn't say anything, and Yu Xue pouted and started crying again. "Husband, why are you being the bottom outside behind my back?"

Xu Yan: "......"

Shen Zhi entered the room just as the assistant was pouring water in the living room. She looked a bit startled, but Shen Zhi shook the medicine bottle and said softly, "I'm here to deliver the hangover medicine."

"Okay, okay," the assistant replied softly, "thank you!" She took the hangover medicine and walked with Shen Zhi towards the bedroom.

Xu Yan glanced back but didn't notice Shen Zhi standing by the sliding door. He told the assistant, "Give me the towel." The assistant handed it over, and Xu Yan used it to wipe away Yu Xue's tears before placing the warm towel on her forehead. He asked, "Do you feel like vomiting?"

Yu Xue shook her head, her gaze passing over Xu Yan's shoulder to land on Shen Zhi. For some reason, she shivered and stopped calling Xu Yan "husband." Instead, she said, "Xu Yan."

Xu Yan closed his eyes in patience and asked, "What is it?"

"The air conditioning, turn up the temperature," Yu Xue murmured, pulling her gaze back from Shen Zhi.

The assistant immediately adjusted the temperature. When Xu Yan saw the medicine box in her hand, he realised Shen Zhi had brought the medicine. He turned and saw Shen Zhi standing there. Without much thought, he reached for the water cup and told the assistant, "Take out two pills."

Xu Yan wore a beautiful ring on the middle finger of his right hand as he held the water cup. Yu Xue took the cup, and on her left hand, also on the middle finger, was a ring identical to Xu Yan's.

After coaxing Yu Xue into taking the medicine, Xu Yan stood up, exhausted. He turned to thank Shen Zhi, but the spot by the door was empty, Shen Zhi had already left.

"Xu Yan," Yu Xue said, now somewhat sober, leaning against the pillow with rare seriousness. "That guy, is he a pervert?"

"What?"

"His expression just now..." Yu Xue seemed to shudder at the memory. "He looked like someone with psychological issues who'd lock you in a basement."

"He's a lawyer," Xu Yan said painfully. "Anyway, he wouldn't lock you up. Now, please, shut up."

Shen Zhi hunched over, hands on the sink, his face wet. He stared at the shimmering water in the basin, but all he could see was Xu Yan being held by Yu Xue, the couple's rings, the assistant's unperturbed expression...

Until then, Shen Zhi had clung to a sliver of hope because Xu Yan hadn't directly admitted to being in a relationship last time, only saying he wanted a normal, healthy relationship. Shen Zhi thought he could do it, despite his flaws, he could ensure he wouldn't hurt Xu Yan again and would do everything possible to love him if only Xu Yan would give him a chance, give him time.

But now?

All his hopes were dashed. Shen Zhi looked at himself in the mirror. What made him think Xu Yan would trap himself in a failed past? Xu Yan had always been decisive, never looking back once he let go.

Only he, only he had spent three sleepless years, tossing and turning, thinking about redemption or a fresh start.

He had stood in that room just now, the whole interaction taking just a few minutes, but in the last thirty seconds, his hearing had completely failed, and his vision had begun to distort – Xu Yan's back, the water cup, the ring, the lights... everything seemed like paint being mixed on a palette.

He could barely stand. Realising he would break down if he stayed any longer, Shen Zhi left.

Straightening up, he returned to the bedroom, his gaze vacant. Sitting on the bed, he picked up a pillbox from the table. Inside were nine small compartments, each filled with different pills, round, oval, and square. He took two pills from the compartment labelled "sleeping pills," and swallowed them with water.

 He pulled back the covers and lay down, not bothering to turn off the lights, and closed his eyes.

Shen Zhi awoke gasping, feeling as though something heavy was pressing on his chest. Though the air conditioning was on, he was drenched in cold sweat. Even before opening his eyes, he knew the room was dark, the lights had gone out at some point.

It took nearly a minute for him to slowly exhale, then take a deep breath, his chest finally able to sense his heartbeat. His limbs felt numb and heavy, almost impossible to lift. Shen Zhi desperately reached for the light switch but couldn't find it, becoming increasingly agitated.

It's happening again. The thought surfaced uncontrollably in his mind, quickly confirmed by his body's reaction. Shen Zhi returned to a state of breathlessness, but this time his heart pounded rapidly, as if something was fiercely kicking inside him. He gasped for air like a fish out of water, but it wasn't the oxygen he needed.

Struggling, he rolled off the bed, his entire body falling onto the carpet. He couldn't hear any sounds or see any light and even wondered if he had been locked in some container. Stretching out his hand, he found no edges, unable to gauge the container's size.

He touched a hard corner, it was the coffee table. Using it for support, Shen Zhi stood up and saw a faint line of light seeping from under the door. It looked thin and distant. Shen Zhi thought it might be as far as a complete road. Stumbling towards the light, he knocked over chairs, a water cup, and other things. The two legs were extremely heavy. Shen Zhi tried his best to drag them, unable to tell whether they were walking tools or a burden on his body. When he finally grasped the door handle, he felt he had reached the edge of the container, he had found his way out.

Shen Zhi pulled the door open forcefully, revealing the hotel corridor with its warm yellow lights and dark red carpet.

There was a click, and Shen Zhi's eyes widened slightly as he saw the door across the hall open.

Xu Yan came out holding Yu Xue. Upon seeing Shen Zhi, Xu Yan wasn't surprised, his face remained indifferent and distant. Shen Zhi's frozen gaze moved downward with difficulty, noticing the kiss marks on Xu Yan's neck.

Yu Xue leaned into Xu Ya's arms with a contented smile. Shen Zhi realised with a jolt that what he had fled from might not have been a container, but rather the refuge he relied on to hide his true self. Now, he wanted to retreat back into the room, back into his container, but his voice escaped before he could stop it.

He heard his own hoarse voice say, "You two..."

Xu Yan looked at him strangely. "What about us?"

"Xu Yan," calling out his name made Shen Zhi feel as if a weight had lifted from his shoulders. He said, "Can we talk?"

"Talk about what?" Xu Yan laughed mockingly. "Why would I waste my time with you?"

He turned to leave with Yu Xue, but Shen Zhi took a step forward and grabbed his arm, his voice trembling. "Just five minutes, Xu Yan, just five minutes."

But he couldn't organise any coherent conversation in his mind. Shen Zhi just desperately, like grasping at a lifeline, wanted to be alone with Xu Yan. If five minutes wasn't possible, then even one minute would do, no matter how short it was.

"Shen Zhi, are you sick?" Xu Yan impatiently shook off his hand. "If you're sick, go get treated and stop bothering me, okay?"

He pulled a business card from his shirt pocket and handed it to Shen Zhi. "Go see a psychiatrist."

Shen Zhi's gaze focused on the name – Lan Qiuchen.

After a few seconds of shock, he suddenly chuckled bitterly. "No need." – how could he tell Xu Yan that Lan Qiuchen was already his doctor? He turned and walked towards the elevator, pressing the down button. It was indeed time for him to see his doctor, and he had to go now.

The elevator doors opened, and Shen Zhi stepped in, but it was empty, there was no carriage. It was as if he was jumping off a cliff, plummeting straight down from the twenty-sixth floor.

Shen Zhi awoke from the intense feeling of weightlessness.

The light was still on, but he still couldn't breathe. His forehead was covered in cold sweat, and his limbs were numb and weak.

After a few minutes, the distorted scene in the room returned to normal. Shen Zhi slowly sat up, his whole body trembling slightly. He reached for the pillbox, opened it, and calmly picked out the pills, three types, seven pills in total. He put them in his mouth, took a sip of water, and swallowed them all at once.

After doing all this, Shen Zhi sat on the bed for a long time, recalling the scene in his dream – falling from the twenty-sixth floor. At the last moment, he became an observer, watching himself become a bloody mess.

He suddenly smelled blood, and a wave of nausea surged in his throat. Without even putting on his slippers, he ran to the bathroom, knelt by the toilet, and vomited.

He threw up all the pills he had just taken. Shen Zhi stood up and leaned over the sink, constantly rinsing his mouth and washing his face. When he finally felt it was enough, he turned off the tap and heard faint voices from outside the door.

Shen Zhi suddenly raised his head, turned around, and walked out of the bathroom, crossing the short hallway to reach the door.

Xu Yan had just returned, satisfied after meeting his idol, chatting, and having a late-night snack. During this time, Yu Xue had sobered up and returned to her own room. After saying goodnight to Lu Sen next door, Xu Yan leisurely walked to his room and was about to swipe his card when the door across the hall suddenly opened.

He turned to see Shen Zhi. Shen Zhi's face was wet, water droplets hanging from his bangs, his eyes bloodshot, and his lips pale. He was breathing heavily and, shockingly, barefoot. It was no exaggeration to say that Xu Yan thought Shen Zhi looked like he had just narrowly escaped death from somewhere.

But Shen Zhi felt like he escaped disaster – seeing Xu Yan standing alone in front of him.

Xu Yan was wearing a clean white T-shirt, with no marks or accessories on him, not even rings on his fingers. His expression was a bit surprised but undeniably alive and warm, quelling all sickness and despair.

Shen Zhi didn't hesitate for a second. It was a short distance, but he practically ran, reaching out to tightly embrace Xu Yan.

He felt like he had returned to the world full of life.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: August 3, 2024 by Angel

Edited: October 5, 2024 by Angel