Wilderness Vegetation Chapter 12

Chapter 12

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Xu Yan was not home. Even if someone knocked at three in the morning, he wouldn't open the door. Shen Zhi had now been waiting at the door for ten minutes, but there was still no movement. A sudden irritation rose within him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, leaned against the wall in the hallway, stared at the door for a while, and then opened his phone. He saw a Weibo notification from ten minutes ago, indicating that his special follow had just posted something – this special follow was Xu Yan.

The special follow feature was, of course, set by Xu Yan, but Shen Zhi did not understand its significance, as Xu Yan hardly ever used Weibo. The latest post from Xu Yan was over two years ago, during which he had angrily berated the national football team after a match, garnering numerous likes from acquaintances.

Shen Zhi clicked on the notification, and the page directly led to Xu Yan's Weibo post from ten minutes ago, containing only two words: "Back home!" The location was set to Lhasa, with nine accompanying photos. Shen Zhi opened each one and saw a familiar face – Ji Huai.

The photos were obviously taken by Xu Yan, who was a well-known photographer during university. Even without editing, the DSLR shots were pleasing to the eye. The scenery, portraits, and composition were all top-notch. Among the nine photos, three were of Ji Huai, three were pure landscapes, and three were of Xu Yan and Ji Huai together, with their arms around each other's shoulders, smiling exuberantly. Each photo was a masterpiece, and within ten minutes of posting, the comments were already flooded with acquaintances praising Xu Yan's photography skills and asking who the handsome guy next to him was. A girl, presumably a high school classmate of Xu Yan's, commented with a slew of exclamation marks, asking: You two!!! Did I really ship a real couple????!!!!

Xu Yan replied: Huh? Ship what? What real couple?

Girl: Nothing, just kswl. [heart] (Angel: KSWL is short for 磕死我了(kē sǐ wǒle) and is like a big "awwww" when used. Chinese people use it to react to couples that seem just too cute to be true.)

One comment stood out to Shen Zhi. He vaguely remembered it being from a university friend of Xu Yan's, who said: Uh-oh, how are you going to explain this to Mr. Shen when you get back? [smirk]

This comment was the first to be posted, but Xu Yan never replied to it. Instead, he skipped over it to respond to others.

Shen Zhi exited Weibo and checked the flights. If Xu Yan was returning today, he would land around eight in the evening. He switched back to WeChat, notified his assistant to book a nearby hotel, then put away his phone and walked towards the elevator.

After landing, Xu Yan and Ji Huai found a hotpot restaurant for dinner. Xu Nian joined them halfway through. After eating, he planned the route, he decided to take Xu Yan home first, then drop off Ji Huai, and finally go to his girlfriend's place to sleep, feeling quite pleased with himself.

Xu Yan had met his girlfriend before, a beautiful and commanding woman. Xu Nian always preferred older women, all of his girlfriends being over four years his senior. He truly loved mature and stunning women. He had been dating this one for almost two years and had mentioned plans to get engaged this year... Engagement, a complex emotion arose in Xu Yan when he thought of this word. Standing by the roadside, he rubbed his eyes and reminded himself not to think about anything related to Shen Zhi.

However, he did not expect that the person he intended to leave in the past and never mention again would be standing at his doorstep.

As Xu Yan exited the elevator, he was on the phone with Ji Huai. Apparently, Xu Nian had received a message from his girlfriend halfway through. She had to go to the office for some urgent work and told Xu Nian to obediently stay home and wait for her to finish before she went to see him. Xu Yan heard his brother crying loudly on the other end of the phone, asking Ji Huai if his girlfriend no longer loved him or wanted to see him. Ji Huai, while comforting him, also spoke to Xu Yan, giving a live commentary on Xu Nian's foolishness.

"I miss her so much... She's been on a business trip for a week, and I thought I could see her tonight." Xu Nian whimpered.

Ji Huai: "She'll come to see you later."

Xu Nian: "Who knows how long later is, wu wu wu..."

Ji Huai: "Cry if you want, but don't hug me, you're getting snot on my clothes."

"He's an idiot." As the elevator doors opened, Xu Yan pulled his suitcase and walked out saying, "Let him cry, don't..." His words trailed off when he saw someone in the hallway. On the other end, Ji Huai asked, "What's wrong?" Xu Yan replied, "Nothing, I'll hang up now," and put down his phone, standing still.

About five or six meters away, Shen Zhi stood under a hallway light, looking at him. Xu Yan recognised every familiar detail on that face, impatience, indifference, anger... each one was something he feared to see but had been forced to face frequently over the past few years. Neither of them spoke at that moment, but as their eyes met, Xu Yan had another epiphany – he should never hope to get what he wanted from Shen Zhi. In the past, he had shamelessly entertained himself, immersed in a ridiculous relationship he couldn't extricate himself from. However, after breaking away and following his own path, Xu Yan realised he could no longer endure these feelings.

Each moment of clarity felt like shedding a heavy coat, and Xu Yan felt a bit lighter as he stepped forward. His gaze towards Shen Zhi was calm, though his heart was not – he thought about how Shen Zhi was soon to be engaged and would become a husband. That sounded even more glamorous... What would Shen Zhi be like when he got intimate with someone? Xu Yan didn't know, he had never experienced it, so he couldn't imagine.

"Do you need something?" Xu Yan walked over, took out his key, and asked casually, "Did your business trip go smoothly?" He originally wanted to ask where the engagement venue Shen Zhi had chosen was and what the scenery was like, but he decided against it. It would seem too gossipy, and Shen Zhi would likely give him a scowl or a cold "What does it matter to you?" That would be too self-defeating. Xu Yan pushed the door open and moved to go inside. He was exhausted and just wanted to take a shower and go to bed, he wasn't keen on talking much.

He wasn't that generous either. His "ex-boyfriend" was about to get engaged, and they had only been separated for just over half a month. Xu Yan felt a bit complicated – apparently, Tibet hadn't cleansed his soul, he would need to make another trip when he had the time.

The door was half pushed open when it suddenly stopped. Xu Yan lowered his eyes and looked at the hand that stretched past him – Shen Zhi had grabbed the door, preventing him from pushing it open. Xu Yan turned to look at him and asked, "What, am I not allowed to go home?"

Shen Zhi stared into his eyes for a moment, then withdrew his hand, saying, "You went on a trip."

Xu Yan sighed wearily, turned around, and leaned against the door frame lazily, saying, "Yeah."

"With someone else." Shen Zhi added.

Xu Yan nodded. "Right."

He appeared unabashed and uninterested in explaining further. Shen Zhi's face darkened, and his voice lowered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Xu Yan, who was almost nodding off and whose eyelids were drooping, perked up a bit at these words and looked at him with bewilderment, "Why should I tell you?" Was this reasonable? Xu Yan now suspected whether Shen Zhi's brain was exhausted, how could he ask such a question? He asked seriously, "Did you come all this way just to ask me about my Lhasa trip?"

Shen Zhi didn't want to engage in verbal sparring. He glanced at Xu Yan's suitcase, still bearing the airport baggage claim tag, looking crumpled. The suitcase was orange, Shen Zhi remembered Xu Yan had mentioned wanting to buy a new one a few months ago, he showed him a picture and asked if orange looked good. Shen Zhi had glanced and said, "Ugly." He said it was ugly, so Xu Yan also felt that it was ugly and immediately bought a plain black one.

But now Xu Yan had bought the same colour, as if... his previous words no longer counted.

There was a long silence before Shen Zhi finally asked, "When are you coming back?" He had run away from home, met friends, and scattered his heart. If this continued, Shen Zhi wasn't sure he had the patience to stay with him.

"Go back where?" Xu Yan furrowed his brow, and as he gradually processed what was happening, his expression turned incredulous, "Back to your place?" Shen Zhi remained silent, almost as if he was confirming it.

Xu Yan slowly straightened up, his gaze shifting back and forth on Shen Zhi's face. He knew Shen Zhi wouldn't joke about something like this. He couldn't believe that Shen Zhi was standing here, seemingly unaware that their relationship had ended, and that he was certain he would shamelessly go back to him.

"Shen Zhi," Xu Yan's expression was absurd and self-mocking, in a hoarse voice, he softly asked, "do I look that pathetic to you?" Pathetic enough to indulge in a one-sided love for four years, pathetic enough to know you're getting engaged and still stick around... Xu Yan was acutely aware that Shen Zhi always thought he had thick skin, but he never expected that in Shen Zhi's eyes, he was truly just a shameless idiot without any dignity.

Emotions surged through Xu Yan, a rollercoaster he had to swallow down. He saw Shen Zhi pause for a second, frown, and ask, "What do you mean?"

Xu Yan suddenly laughed, without any real meaning behind it. He shook his head tiredly, wanting to say "break up", but the words couldn't come out. It wasn't reluctance or attachment, but rather that this term was too common in relationships. But looking back now, he and Shen Zhi couldn't really be considered lovers, considering Shen Zhi had never treated him as a boyfriend – so, he needed a different way to put an end to this relationship. Xu Yan suppressed his laughter, lifted his head, and looked past Shen Zhi's hair, at the lights in the corridor, "What I mean is, we're done."

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: May 31, 2024 by Angel

Edited: June 9, 2024 by Angel