Dr. Ou's Psychotherapy Chapter 20

Trembling and Tenderness

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Yi Zhize's body began to tremble, the outflow of his subconscious mind was completely out of control.

In that chaotic interlaced space, rain and blood fused together.

Long ago, as an adult, he stood between the pouring rain and looked at his own thin figure of the past.

As he approached him, Xiao Yi Zhize tugged at the corner of his coat and looked at him blankly: "What did Ze Ze do wrong?"

Yi Zhize stroked his soft hair and did not say anything.

Xiao Yi Zhize asked, "Am I a bad boy?"

Yi Zhize looked into his eyes and said seriously, "No."

"But why doesn't Father like me?" Xiao Yi Zhize had tears in his eyes, "Father got drunk that day and strangled me, it hurt so much, and he said that it would be better if I didn't exist."

Yi Zhize lowered his eyes, rain sliding down his eyelashes, "He was a bastard."

"But why did Mother also get killed because of me?"

"Was I, like, never supposed to be born?"

"I'm redundant, I guess."

"Why couldn't I have died instead of Mother?"

In the treatment room, Yi Zhize huddled up, tears welling up from under his eyes and veins pulsing at his temples.

Ou Tingyun took his hand in his and said soothingly, "Zhize, can you hear my voice?"

In the dream world, Yi Zhize saw Ou Tingyun holding an umbrella and walking towards him: "Zhize, can you hear me?"

Yi Zhize heard him, but he did not want to answer.

Xiao Yi Zhize asked, "Who are you?"

Ou Tingyun smiled, "I am your psychotherapist, be good and call out to your teacher."

"Teacher." Xiao Yi Zhize smiled, "Ze Ze likes teachers because my mother is a teacher too!"

"Hmm." Ou Tingyun gently brushed the tears away from his face, "What are you crying for? A man can't shed tears."

"I'm not crying," Xiao Yi Zhize defended, "that's rain."

"That's great," Ou Tingyun handed him his umbrella, "You must use it in the rain."

Xiao Yi Zhize pointed at Yi Zhize, "He isn't using one either!"

"I'll talk to him later, you listen first, okay?"

"Okay." Xiao Yi Zhize sat on the edge of the road, holding his umbrella.

Ou Tingyun and Yi Zhize stood side by side: "What are you thinking about, Zhize?"

Yi Zhize was silent.

Ou Tingyun said, "You've been here too long, shall we go out?"

"No."

"Don't be capricious."

"You're leaving?" Xiao Yi Zhize was a little uneasy.

"No," said Yi Zhize, "I'm staying here, I'm not going anywhere."

Ou Tingyun suddenly asked, "Who gave you that name?"

Yi Zhize: "It has nothing to do with you."

Xiao Yi Zhize's eyes lit up, "Ze Ze knows! It's Mother!"

"What does it mean?" 

Yi Zhize: "There isn’t one."

"Yes there is!" Xiao Yi Zhize said excitedly, "Ze Ze knows! Mother has said that Zhize means Heaven's grace!"

Ou Tingyun took Yi Zhize's hand and whispered in his ear, "Zhize, your mother gave up everything for you, and you are her most cherished treasure in the world. Your existence, in itself, is the greatest meaning, you are the continuation of her life. Do you want to fail her and stay here forever? Would she want you to be a coward?"

In the treatment room, Yi Zhize's eyes snapped open.

Ou Tingyun breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed his palm, "Welcome back to the real world, Zhize."

Yi Zhize's eyes were slack, obviously not yet recovered.

Ou Tingyun blamed himself, "I'm sorry, I didn't expect things to be so difficult..."

"It's okay." Yi Zhize eased up and looked at him calmly, "I've known for a long time that I'm hopeless."

"Are you the doctor or am I the doctor?" Ou Tingyun rubbed his hair, "Don't be anxious, we still have... a long time."

Yi Zhize said, "I'm thirsty."

Ou Tingyun poured him a glass of warm water, "Your personality split into two parts just now. How old were you when that happened?"

Yi Zhize sat up from the bed and took the glass of water, "I don't remember."

"Ze Ze, why are you lying to me?"

"Don't call me that," Yi Zhize drank some water and gradually calmed down, "How did I lie?"

"When we first met, I once asked you what the people close to you call you," Ou Tingyun stared at him, "You said they called you Zhize."

"En."

"But in the dream just now, that was not the case."

Yi Zhize put his glass of water on the table, "That's my nickname, I haven't used it since I became an adult."

"Can I call you that?"

"No."

"Ze Ze is so stingy."

"Shut up."

Ou Tingyun laughed lowly, "Okay, I won't tease you, you need to rest for a while."

"Mmm."

"Although today's hypnosis wasn't a success, it wasn't a total failure." Ou Tingyun smiled softly, "We can do it more often in the future, I will be gentle."

Yi Zhize: ……

The next morning, Ou Tingyun dropped Yi Zhize off downstairs at the Yuanfan building.

It so happened that An Rong bumped into him again. Looking at the meaningful look in her eyes, Yi Zhize turned pale, while Ou Tingyun smiled like a gentleman.

An Rong: "Mr. Yi~"

Yi Zhize: "Shut up."

An Rong: "I haven't said anything yet?"

Yi Zhize: "Then don't say anything."

An Rong: "???"

Around eleven o'clock, Yi Zhize received a phone call, "Hello, Ruizheng Law Firm, Yi Zhize."

"Mr. Yi, this is Mu Xin." Mu Xin's voice sounded light and soft: "What I mentioned to you last time, the children's recital, I wonder if you are free to come and listen to it?"

"When?"

"This Sunday afternoon."

"Okay."

"I'll send you the address later," Mu Xin said genuinely, "I look forward to meeting you again, Mr. Yi."

Sunday afternoon.

Yi Zhize drove to the address Mu Xin had given him at the appointed time.

It was a new area on the outskirts of the city, some distance from the city. Surrounded by mountains and water, it was suitable for artists, but it was a little too remote.

When he arrived at the address, there was a white marble building in front of him.

It looked very European, with a hint of a church.

Yi Zhize parked his car, went to the front porch and rang the doorbell.

In just a moment, the door opened.

Mu Xin, dressed in a long knitted shirt, smiled at him, "Mr. Yi, welcome."

Yi Zhize nodded and stepped inside.

Mu Xin closed the door behind him.

The light suddenly became extremely dim, and it took a long time for Yi Zhize to get used to it.

What shocked him was that, unlike the white exterior, the interior was almost entirely dark and, at first glance, seemed to be caged in the darkness of the night.

At that moment, there was a crisp 'click' sound, which was the sound of a lock closing.

The first thing that came to mind was that Ou Tingyun had mentioned that Mu Xin was likely to have psychological problems.

At that time, he didn't believe it and even teased the doctor about it.

Now, looking at Mu Xin who was approaching him, Yi Zhize instinctively sensed...

An aura of danger.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: October 21, 2022