My Vampire Faints at Blood Chapter 54

Eating Too Much Heat Food Makes You Prone to Cancer

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"I have to say, of all the creatures I've come across, you're the most pitiful." Patting the little phoenix on the back sympathetically, Doctor Shang nodded seriously and decided to be as friendly as possible whenever he saw a phoenix with totem burdens in the future.

The two men returned to the private room after receiving their drinks, and the Tibetan fox had already thoughtfully ordered for the group. When he saw the two small dragons flying around the human doctor, he couldn't help but widen his eyes slightly, "So Doctor Shang is actually a dragon master? No wonder he's so calm when things go wrong..."

"No... I don't think I'm as calm as you, at least under normal circumstances." Shang Haojia smiled and shook his head, taking a seat in the chair the vampire had helped pull out. Tearing up a napkin, he made two simple napkins for the two little dragons and patiently wrapped them around their necks, "Hotpot is not like other hot dishes, it's very hot when you first pull it out. Don't rush, wait for it to cool down a bit before you eat it, alright?"

"Okay!" The two little dragons craned their necks together and replied loudly. 

Doctor Shang smiled lightly and nodded, stroked the two little ones' horns, picked out a few slices of fresh shabu-shabu meat and put them on a plate, "Good boys, you're getting more and more sensible."

The little phoenix on the other side of the table looked at them with a great desire, but after holding back, he whispered, "Can I... can I touch them too? I don't dare to touch the big ones, my father said that the buttocks of real dragons cannot be touched..."

"Pervert, you actually want to touch our asses!" Xian Bao was eyeballing the meat and blowing on it, and as soon as he heard him, he immediately shouted at him fiercely and curled his tail up quickly.

Seeing his brother's action, Xian Bei hurriedly followed suit and curled his tail before blinking confusedly, "But Brother... do we have butts?"

"Dang – of course we do! The book said that although sparrows are small and complete, we must be more powerful than sparrows, right?" Meeting his brother's innocent gaze, Xian Bao hastily straightened his body with pride and craned his neck in a reasoned reply.

"That has to be better than a sparrow, Brother is so clever!" Xian Bei nodded seriously and looked at the little phoenix who was shivering with fear from the true dragon's wrath, and there was more sympathy in his eyes, "Don't be afraid, I won't eat you, you can touch my dragon scales. Brother Doctor said we should care for phoe-"

Before the latter words could be finished, the human doctor was quick to pick up a piece of meat and feed it into the little one's mouth, "How is it, is it good?"

"It smells so good – this is better than KFC!" The little one was immediately distracted and nodded excitedly. Seeing this, Xian Bao, who was not to be outdone, went over and took a bite of the meat and flung it into his mouth, nodding in satisfaction, "It does taste good..."

"Thanks for the compliment, we'll definitely keep working hard..." The little phoenix smiled sarcastically and nodded repeatedly, exchanging another glance with the human doctor. Only after receiving the other's approval did he gather the courage to reach out once more and gently touch the little one's smooth dragon body while he was eating happily.

"Does it feel like anything?" The Tibetan fox inquired in a concerned, warm voice as he did his job of fishing out the various vegetables in the hotpot for him. 

Still revelling in the excitement of having touched a dragon, the little phoenix kept stuffing his mouth with food for a moment and mulled it over for a while before nodding, "It's kind of like a goldfish..."

"Gobble gobble cluck cluck!!!" Before his words could fall, a waiter in a hat suddenly came running in frantically from outside, pointing outside and yapping anxiously, unable to form a single human word.

Fearing that Jia Duobao might be suspicious of why the waiter was clucking, the little phoenix fidgeted impatiently and instinctively looked back at the human for help. Doctor Shang raised an eyebrow, nodded slightly in a dependable manner, and put down the chopsticks in his hands, "Xian Bao, Xian Bei, do you know this song too?"

"I do I do – the song is called Chick Cluck Cluck!" Xian Bao nodded vigorously and sang it loudly in excitement. Xian Bei, who always refused to lag behind, hurriedly swallowed the meat in his mouth and sang along.

The room instantly turned into a sea of squawking chickens, and Haidi Lao sighed in relief. He winked gratefully at the human doctor and slipped him another phoenix feather under the table as a token of his appreciation, "You must accept it, I'll send you another egg later..."

"No, no, I really have enough eggs at home already." Having learned his lesson from the dragons, Doctor Shang was subconsciously wary of eggs of all kinds and shook his head without hesitation, declining the other party's kind offer, "You phoenixes eat less, but for some reason I think it might cost more than a Taotie..."

"My dear, I think this place might devolve into a tragedy in a moment." While no one was looking, the vampire gently tugged at his human's sleeve and lowered his voice as he moved over, "The phoenix's natural ability isolates my detection to some extent, and I can't believe I only just noticed that Wayne Loki actually ran over – do I need to forcefully stop him?"

"Emotional matters can only be sorted out by the three of them. Even if they digress once, there will still be another time, so it's better not to interfere." After a moment's thought, Doctor Shang waved his hand decisively and replied in a low voice. Just as he was about to give the little phoenix a heads up, there was a mess of birds chirping from outside.

The crowd subconsciously looked towards the door and saw Wayne Loki, who was wearing an apron and straddling a basket, standing aggressively in the doorway with half an eggshell on his head, looking at the phoenix in front of him with red eyes, "It's obvious that I was first, so why him? Just because I'm not good enough to drink!"

"Wayne Loki – what do you mean by that?" The Tibetan fox propped himself up on the table and stood up, narrowing his eyes dangerously which didn't really make any difference, and a hint of murder spread through his tone, "We made a deal in the beginning, if you agree to bet, you must accept to lose. Now that I've won, you're running around unwilling to accept it?"

"What did you do to snatch him from me, don't you dare to say it? You are a coward! A liar!" Worried about hurting the little orange cat in the basket, Wayne Loki carefully placed the basket on the table and pulled another egg out of his apron pocket to put it in with them. Only after making sure it had been placed securely did he grab a cup and slam it on the floor, "How about that – I'm super mean! Tremble, ignorant squinty-eyed fox!"

"Not that I'm saying it, but you really don't stand a chance of winning..." Rubbing the corner of his forehead with a headache, the human doctor got up and patted the super-fierce Wayne Loki, trying to bring the situation under control for the time being.

The vampire, overwhelmed with rage, apparently didn't have the energy to care about the others, and just looked over at the pureblood king who was staring at the basket to the side and took a painful step forward, "Dad! Not even you will help me!"

"No, I don't have a son like you – in fact, I hate to even admit that you and I are actually kindred spirits." He was trying his best to resist the urge to reach out and pet the cat right now. With an irresponsible shake of his head, the pureblood king's attention then returned to the basket, "Can I hold him, my dear?"

"Hold what – wait, did you actually bring the little Taotie to the hotpot restaurant?!" The human doctor's face changed slightly when he realised what a terrible being was inside the basket and was about to cover it up as soon as possible when the little orange cat climbed out, wobbly following the aroma, "Meow..."

"You actually brought a Taotie, are you deliberately getting back at me?!" The little phoenix's face went white, almost having foreseen the downfall of bankruptcy, and his eyes went red as he covered his chest in heartache, "I told you a long time ago that I don't like non-mainstreams, we're simply not possible – go away, I don't want to see you!"

"No no, I didn't do it on purpose, it's just that nobody cares about the cat when I'm out..." Wayne Loki was dragged out the door by two chicken spirits, but still struggled reluctantly and fought to point aside at Jia Duobao, "Didn't you say you wanted to find an ordinary person and live your life in peace – do you think a werewolf can be considered an ordinary person?! You're not afraid that he'll eat you like a snack after he transforms during the full moon?!"

"What did you say..." The little phoenix's breath caught and he subconsciously turned his head to look at his boyfriend, who had a complicated expression, and blinked helplessly, "Is what he said – is what he said true?"

"Haidi, I'm really sorry." At this point, there was really no point in trying to hide it any longer. With a helpless and bitter smile in his eyes, the Tibetan fox nodded helplessly and instantly drew up his body, two ears sprouted from the top of his head and he simply reverted to his wolf-like state, "Although I usually hide my identity in my human state, the real me, in fact, is this – I just never dared to explain it to you, afraid that you would break up with me because of it..."

The lethality of the Tibetan fox emoji pack has always been obvious. Apart from the human doctor who was still able to keep his composure after a hundred years of refinement, even the two chicken spirits couldn't help but cackle and bend over in laughter. The anger on Wayne Loki's face had long since turned into an uncontrollable laugh as he squatted on the ground covering his stomach and rubbing his eyes uncontrollably, "Ha ha ha, he'th go'in crathy!"

"Just a reminder, your teeth are falling out." Holding the flailing little Taotie in one hand, Doctor Shang forced himself to be ruthless and ignore the little kitten who kept arching his hand and pouting. Patting Wayne Loki, who was gloating too obviously, he looked thoughtfully at the little phoenix who seemed to be stunned on the side.

"Oh my gosh... it's so handsome, I just love this!" Finally half-slowly coming back to his senses, the little phoenix jumped up and pounced in front of the Tibetan fox spirit, excitement almost gushing out of his eyes.

"Look at this subdued expression, this calm look in your eyes, this soft fur, these cute little plum paws... This is so much more handsome than your human state, how about we applaud our love while you're in this form?"

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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Translator Notes

Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.

Translated: March 20, 2022

Edited: August 18, 2023