Binding the Dragon for the Empress Chapter 152
Can You Like Me Today
If Yan Yuan was afraid of being laughed at, he would not have given up his position as Heavenly Emperor ten thousand years ago and fallen to the mortal world in search of Xuan Long.
The gods of the Nine Heavens all know that the Heavenly Emperor is an infatuated man who is not even afraid of Heaven's wrath for the sake of Xuan Long, so what is face to him?
But no matter how shameless he was, no matter how earnest he was, it was useless if Xuan Long did not appreciate his feelings.
"In your eyes, am I just a joke..."
"Yes." Xuan Long slowly but firmly drew back the wrist that was clutched tightly by Yan Yuan and walked through the door without looking back.
Yan Yuan wondered why his love had turned into a joke in Xuan Long's eyes. They had been childhood sweethearts since they were young, and their love had grown over time; they had long since become the flesh and blood of each other's hearts. To pluck out the flesh and blood from their hearts would kill them.
He did not believe that Xuan Long would betray him. He must have done something unforgivable himself to earn Xuan Long's cold eyes in return. He was going to get to the bottom of what had happened and then confess to Xuan Long sincerely, and he would surely be forgiven by him.
He must just be saying these things to him out of anger...
Surely he was just angry...
In the forbidden land thousands of miles away, the flickering light of the crack-riddled Purple Heavenly Star grew dimmer and dimmer. When the light was completely extinguished, it would be the day the Emperor Star would fall.
Yan Yuan's divine body was symbiotic with the Emperor Star. Now the Emperor Star's qi is weak and is being suppressed by the Lonely Heavenly Star, the closer he gets to Xuan Long, the greater the impact.
As the day and night progressed, the crack in the Purple Heavenly Star suddenly became deeper, and Yan Yuan felt the pain of a million arrows piercing his heart. He let out a stifled grunt and bent over, covering his heart. The blood that gushed out of his mouth pooled into a thin stream that flowed onto the white jade floor, and he fell to his knees, unable to hold on, and fainted outside of General Xuan Hall.
When he regained consciousness, Yan Yuan was already in his bed in Dongji Hall. He was in a state of confusion, and saw Ye Ling guarding him at the bedside, his eyes red and he was saying something, but his voice was too far away to be heard.
Yan Yuan strained to reach over and grabbed the sleeve of Ye Ling Shenjun's coat and asked, breathlessly, "Mother, tell me why A'Po doesn't want me anymore..."
Yan Yuan couldn't hear how Ye Ling answered, so he obstinately asked why repeatedly, tears cutting through his silvery white temples.
Who knows where the fairies found the pigment to dye his hair, it had only been washed a few times and it had already faded, and his silver hair was as dull as dry grass.
"It will get better..."
"It's going to be okay..."
Ye Ling held Yan Yuan's hand tightly, his fingers tenderly wiped away the tears at the corners of Yan Yuan's eyes, and he watched Yan Yuan fall into a drowsy sleep again. His words were like a comfort to Yan Yuan, and like a comfort to himself.
However, nothing was getting better.
Yan Jing was unable to find a way to mend the Emperor Star and returned several times without success. The effect of the 'Start Over' medicine was at its peak and Yan Yuan woke up after sleeping for ten days, and became a true fool.
His emotions were all displayed on his face; he would laugh when he was happy, cry when he was sad, and run to see his lover when he missed him.
Xuan Long was afraid that he would come close to him. The closer he came, the heavier the repercussions would be, and before they could find a way to repair the Emperor Star, Yan Yuan would probably die.
The most vicious words he had never said in his life were almost all said to Yan Yuan, who cried silently as he listened, his clear eyes looking at Xuan Long, the skin at the end of his eyes red, and tears hanging in his eyes, falling down in big globs.
If Xuan Long coaxed him, he would stop crying, but Xuan Long never did, he would always slam the door and shut him out, leaving him standing there.
Every time he was taken back to the palace by Ye Ling, he would come back the next day and wait outside General Xuan Hall.
This morning, when Ye Ling wasn't looking, he ran over again.
Crouched under the sacred tree outside the hall, his long silvery white hair and robe strewn across the ground, he drew circles on the ground with a branch in his hand, a brown portable food box by his side.
He always brought a gift when he came, and each time it was different. Sometimes it was a packet of malt candy, sometimes it was a bunch of candied gourds, a bunch of windmills...
They were all small trinkets that Ye Ling Shenjun sent people to the mortal world to get to make Yan Yuan happy. A piece of malt candy could make Yan Yuan drink an extra bowl of porridge, and a string of candied gourds could coax Yan Yuan to obediently drink all the medicine that was so bitter that it made his tongue numb.
When Yan Yuan liked something, he thought that Xuan Long would like it too, so he drank the medicine, hid the candied gourds and brought them to Xuan Long like a treasure, but Xuan Long didn't even look at them and told him to get lost.
Having given away everything he could, Yan Yuan didn't know what else he could do to please Xuan Long, so he thought hard last night before going to bed and remembered that Xuan Long seemed to like fish soup. As a result, he slipped into the kitchen this morning and made one from a vague memory.
Previously, he had always knocked on the door when he came, but Xuan Long didn't like the noise, so he stopped knocking and waited quietly outside, so that when the time came, Xuan Long would come out.
As a general, he had to patrol the Divine School every day.
When Xuan Long woke up that morning, A'Zhi was still sleeping beside him. Sensing the familiar divine aura outside, he paused in lifting the blanket and used his voice transmission technique to summon Lian Bi in, saying through the tent:
"He's here again..."
"General, do you want Lian Bi to chase him away?"
"No need... let him be."
Although Yan Yuan is now a fool, his nature is as stubborn as ever. Lian Bi is unable to drive him away; when the time comes, it will be another storm, and it will be a waste of energy.
After waiting long enough, he would leave on his own.
When Xuan Long left the house, he used the invisibility technique. Yan Yuan is now weak, so even after Xuan Long walked in front of him, he didn't notice. He was crouched on the ground and drawing haphazardly with a tree branch, looking up at the closed door of the hall from time to time, with a helpless look in his eyes, clearly wanting to knock on the door, but still holding back.
Xuan Long slowly bent over and touched his fingertips to Yan Yuan's face. The wind blew over and silvery white hair tangled in Xuan Long's fingers. Yan Yuan suddenly froze and dropped the tree branch in his hand to the ground. His fingers clutched the clothes over his heart and he coughed in pain, furrowing his eyebrows.
Ye Ling Shenjun coaxed Yan Yuan to take medicine day after day, but the Emperor Star was so badly damaged that no amount of medicine could stop his divine body from weakening day by day. Once he coughed, he would cough up a lot of blood, and his face would pale visibly, and even his eyes would become hollow for a while. After coughing, he casually wiped it with his white sleeve, staining the corners of his mouth bright red and leaving blood stains everywhere.
Xuan Long thought he would leave after this, but after he regained his composure, he sat up on his knees and wiped the blood from the white jade tile floor with his sleeves, as seriously as though he was completing some important ritual.
A white light flashed in mid-air, and Ye Ling Shenjun appeared at Yan Yuan's side. His eyes darted across the direction where Xuan Long was, and he bent down to grab Yan Yuan's arm.
"Yuan'er, get up and go back with Father."
Yan Yuan raised his head with red eyes, "I've made A'Po's courtyard dirty... he'll hate me even more."
"He won't." Ye Ling raised his sleeve and with a wave, the floor was spotless. "Father has cleaned it for you, he won't know. Come on, go back with Father for breakfast."
"But I want to see him..." Yan Yuan muttered, looking in the direction of the hall door.
The words that followed were not heard by Xuan Long. Since Ye Ling Shenjun had come, he did not have to worry about Yan Yuan waiting there foolishly.
Before leaving home, he had specifically instructed Lian Bi not to go through the main gate when sending A'Zhi to school, so that he would not meet Yan Yuan.
As the sun set in the west, the man crouching under the sacred tree unknowingly fell asleep under the tree, clutching his food box, his clothes still the same dirty blood-stained ones, which were not dignified or decent in any way.
This was the scene that Xuan Long saw when he returned from the Divine School.
He seemed a little cold, his bare feet were tucked under his robe, with his curled toes exposed, and his eyebrows were knitted together, obviously sleeping uncomfortably.
Xuan Long did not expect Yan Yuan to not have left by now.
Just as he was hesitating on whether to go over and shoo him away or to just enter the hall, the man woke up sleepily.
"A'Po..."
It was too late to try to leave.
"A'Po!"
Yan Yuan crawled up from under the tree. It seemed that he had been sitting for too long and his feet were numb, limping a little comically as he ran over.
He held up the food box with both hands and handed it to Xuan Long, smiling.
"I have made you something delicious today, very delicious... really!"
In the morning, he only saw Yan Yuan coughing up blood, and it was only now when his attention was focused on Yan Yuan's hands that he noticed the bone-deep knife wounds on his finger, as well as the blood blisters that had been scalded forth.
His sword brows knitted up and he mumbled:
"What is it?"
"It's fish soup, you like fish soup the most, don't you?" Seeing that Xuan Long was hesitant to take it, Yan Yuan pushed it in front of him. "A'Po, take it, if you eat the fish soup, don't hate me anymore, okay?"
"......"
"A'Po... okay?..."
Xuan Long raised his hand and reached out to Yan Yuan's hand.
Yan Yuan's eyes lit up and he clenched his hands hard, thinking Xuan Long was going to take it. However, in the next breath, the food box he was holding was swatted to the ground by Xuan Long.
The food box broke in half, and the emerald jade jar inside poured out, spilling fish soup all over the floor.
"I hate eating fish soup the most, so don't waste your efforts again."
Yan Yuan stared at the remnants on the floor for a long time, not expecting that the result today would be the same as the previous days, as he clearly remembered that Xuan Long liked to eat fish soup.
"Then what do you like..."
Xuan Long spoke in a low voice, "Like you..."
Yan Yuan's breath stalled, and before he could feel the pleasant surprise, he fell into hell.
"Like that you don't appear in front of me. When exactly will the Emperor understand human words." Xuan Long walked around him towards the door of the hall.
Yan Yuan stopped where he was, water droplets pooling in his eyes, "I can understand..."
When he returned to Dongji Hall, Ye Ling Shenjun was sitting at the dining table waiting for him, with a table full of delicious food.
"Yuan'er, you're back? You've been hungry all day, come and have your meal."
Yan Yuan walked past the dining table towards the inner hall. He looked as if his soul had gone out of his body, and his whole body was as pale as paper.
"Mother, I want to sleep now."
Yan Yuan's eyes closed as he touched the bed. Ye Ling Shenjun brought a small bowl of chicken congee on a tray, as well as the medicine he was supposed to take today, and sat down by the bed.
"Mother, A'Po still hates me. He spilled the fish soup I made, I clearly remember that he likes fish soup, maybe he just hates the fish soup I made." Yan Yuan closed his eyes and said softly.
Ye Ling Shenjun was speechless for a long time before speaking, "Eat something first, and drink the medicine."
"I don't want to drink the medicine, it's too bitter..." Yan Yuan opened his eyes, and only then did the tears fall from the corners of his eyes.
"There are candied gourds today too." Ye Ling Shenjun opened his hand, and a red candied gourd appeared in his palm.
Yan Yuan did not even look at it, he seemed to be really sad.
Ye Ling Shenjun: "... You promised me that if he still treated you that way today, you would never go to him again."
That's why Ye Ling allowed Yan Yuan to wait there foolishly all day.
"But when I think of never seeing him again, I feel so uncomfortable..." Yan Yuan buried his face in the blanket and his body trembled.
Ye Ling Shenjun had no choice but to press his palm against Yan Yuan's back, "Then Yuan’er, remember... next time you go out, don't forget to put on your shoes."
Before going to bed, when Ye Ling Shenjun was treating the wound on Yan Yuan's hand, he heard Yan Yuan whisper:
"Mother, I will like him for another thirty days. If thirty days pass and he still does not like me, then I won't like him either."
"Okay..."
Those words were just a lie to Yan Yuan himself.
During the thirty days, Yan Yuan went to Xuan Long every day to look for him, and the result was the same. After the thirty days, he told himself that he would like Xuan Long for another thirty days.
He had many, many more 30 days anyway.
But in fact, three years were just a snap of his fingers.
His obsession with Xuan Long was so deep that he suffered more and more backlash. In three years, he went from seeing Xuan Long every day to every two or three days.
Because his body no longer allowed him to do that. In order to prevent excessive depletion of his spiritual energy, his divine body would spontaneously fall into a coma, often sleeping for days at a time.
If he continued like this, he might not last even ten years, not to mention a hundred years.
In the late afternoon of this day, Yan Yuan woke up from his sleep and went to look for Xuan Long who was training his soldiers at the Divine School.
He had forgotten to put on his shoes again when he left the house, and his thin white profane robe had a black robe draped over it, making his face as white as snow, and his body was obviously full of lifelessness, but when he saw Xuan Long, the smile in his eyes was as vivid as a fish swimming in the water.
"A'Po, the irises by Zijue Lake are blooming... I picked one for you...Will you accept the flowers, and try to like me today." Yan Yuan hesitantly revealed his right hand which was behind his back and handed a blue iris tail to Xuan Long, twirling it between his fingers.
"... Okay."
Anyone with a discerning eye could see that Yan Yuan's time was running out.
If he was destined to die, then before he left, Xuan Long wanted him to be happy.
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵
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Translator Notes
Please feel free to comment any mistakes I made so I can improve and do better as I go through the book.
Translated: February 10, 2023
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